The horrible War

           My name is Cassidy Tatum, I am 32 years old. The year is 1863. I live in Chatham New Jersey. I am married, his name is Channing Tatum, he is off fighting in the war for the Union right now. I am left home with my 7 year old daughter, Sawyer. We live in fear every day to what might become of us if my husband doesn't return, if we never hear from him again, or ever if we lose this war. It is a horrible time to be in.

June 25, 1863

         Oh, what a day it has been! This morning Sawyer and I went to church like we do every day. We go to pray, pray that Channing will come home soon safe and sound. Then, we went to see my mother at the nursing home to see if she has heard anything from him and just to comfort her, we all miss Channing very much, but both of those things are pretty usual, we do them every day. What was so astonishing that happened today was something that happened when we got home. I went out to get the mail, again I always do this just hoping I'd have a letter from Channing telling me everything was going to be alright and that he was going to be home soon, and that the war was over, but that letter didn't come today. Instead I got a different letter. The letter was not from my husband,but from his best friend Ryan. Ryan had been captured a while back by the confederates, so naturally I was shocked that he had wrote me. In the letter he told me about the day he got captured, and what they had done to him, it was absolutely horrible, people are so cruel! He told me that he needed help, him and his buddy did. They were hurt, hurt bad. They needed me to help the, so they were on their way, they would arrive later tonight. I looked at my clock in a rush, it was 2:04 p.m. I quickly went to get things together. Sawyer helped get the supplies while I made dinner. That night I heard a tap on the door, I hurried  over and opened it. There they were, they were so beat up, barely able to stand too. I attended to their nasty wounds and sewed their clothes, I gave them water, some food, and blankets. They thanked me and told me that they had to hurry, they needed to stay on the move. I asked them about Channing, but they said they hadn't heard anything about him for a long time, they hoped that he was okay, I hugged them, crying. Then, they left and me and Sawyer were alone again.

July 1, 1863

        Hello my love, I miss you so much. I think of you every day, tears come to my eyes whenever I walk by your reading room, you spent some much time in there. I hate waking up in bed alone in the mornings, I hate that empty chair at the kitchen table, I hate raising our daughter alone. She needs a father figure in her life, so you have to come home. I can't do this without you. I live in fear.  Its been months since I've heard from you. Are you okay? Do you even remember us, or are you caught up in the war? Is it almost over? Are we winning? Are you alive, or will I never get to see you or hear you again? I am more scared than ever right now, I have hear that there is a battle going on in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Ms. Jackson told me that confederates found the Union Calvary. Then Confederates then attacked you guys, I have no idea what is going on. Is that battle over? Did we win? I have so many questions for you, please, I need to hear from you. Write me back love, I need you to tell me you are alive. Thats all I need, please.

                                                                                                  Love,

                                                                                           Cassidy Tatum

July 3, 1863

       Today, Sawyer started school, kindergarten to be exact! Oh, how I wish Channing could have been here for it, I know he is off for a good cause but I can't help but wish that he wasn't helping and he was home with me and sawyer. I also did some yard work, usually I wouldn't do that, it just isn't a woman's job, but I did it, the yard was a wreck. I miss watching Channing do the yard work while I cook dinner. I miss Sawyer hearing her dad come in and running into his arms. I sat at home today, every creek, every car that went by scared me. I decided to just focus on my knitting, I am making families blankets with their loved ones names on them that have died, I think they would really appreciate it. After awhile I wanted to leave the house, Sawyer needed picked up in about an hour, I wanted to do something before I had to come home and make dinner. So, I went down to the cemetery. There were so many graves, so many dead soldiers. I planted flowers next to them, cleaned them up a little. Most families can't do  that anymore because they are so torn apart, I understand that, so I help them. I also went over to the farmers market to buy some food, I did give a lot to Ryan and his friend. As I was checking out I saw a box that had money in it, I asked what it was, the man said it was for the war, there is so much damage that they need money to repair things, so I put money in it and was on my way. Later I went and got Sawyer,. She said she had a good day but that she missed daddy, she said that all the other kids had their dads pick them up, but not her. She kept asking if Channing was alive, I couldn't say yes  or no, I could be lying with either answer, so I answered with " I have faith in that he is, but all we can do is hope and pray. " The rest of the ride home was silent. Dinner was silent also. I know she misses her dad, but the silence is killing me, a 7 year old shouldn't be this quiet, She went to bed later, I saw her praying, I got teary eyed. Now I'm laying here thinking, but the thoughts might just kill me, so goodnight.

July 23, 1863

     Oh, how happy I am! I have tears of joy pouring out of my eyes! Sawyer cried too, she never cries! Channing wrote to us! He said he is doing great! He told me not to worry and that he would be home soon, he hasn't had any major injuries, only some scrapes and bruises. He wrote that he had saved some men, the confederates were charging at them when Channing shot then down! He is so brave! He told me he wasn't in the battle I told him about, but he was in the battle of Bull Run, he said it was a rough battle, it was in Virginia, it was a long hard fight but he's okay. I told Channings mother that he was okay, I had never seen a woman so happy, I couldn't imagine losing a child, good thing she didn't lose him. Oh how that letter made me so happy, if only he was here in my arms, I would be so much more happier, but just  knowing that he is doing okay makes everything better.

Abraham Lincoln's death- April 15, 1865,

                        The sadness is filling me,  our beloved president has been shot and killed,the poor, poor man was just watching a play, he didn't know what was going to happened to him, he was just gone just like that. John Wilkes Booth, a famous actor and Confederate sympathizer, and now a murder fatally shot President Abraham Lincoln at the play in Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C. John Wilkes Booth, was a Maryland native born in 1838 who remained in the North during the Civil War despite his Confederate sympathies. I don't understand why or how someone would be able to kill a man out of their own greef, Lincoln was a great man.

                                       Lincoln led the United States through our Civil War, the bloodiest war yet. In doing so, he preserved the Union, abolished slavery, strengthened the federal government, and modernized the economy. He was a great man and he helped this place a lot, he helped many people without even knowing it. I am so sad about this I hope he is in a better place, I hope we can go on without him.

                                           There are so many scared people all around now, they don't know that to do, what will happen next, was that just an assassination for him? Or are they coming after the whole Union? We can't be for sure, but all I know is that I am glad that Channing is home with me and Sawyer, I don't know if I could make it through all of this without my love.                      

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