23 Things You Never Admit You Do Every Summer, But Totally Do
The season brings with it freeze pops, swimming pools, and a sudden uptick in lighthearted, up-tempo songs as various musicians clamber over one another in a battle to have the Song of Summer. What’s not to like? Actually, I do know what’s not to like–we can start with the amount of time we all spend on Netflix and go from there. Here are the 23 things you never admit you do every summer, but totally do:
1. Watch way too much Netflix.
What else is the summer meant for other than rewatching all of Gilmore Girls and developing a new obsession for Law & Order?
2. Think, as you do every summer, that this is finally the year you are immune to sunburn.
Alas, one ill-fated accidental nap by a pool is enough to dispel this theory. Wear sunscreen, my friends!!
3. Plan elaborate vacations with your girls that never actually come to fruition.
At best, you’ll go “glamping” in someone’s backyard.
4. Stalk your school crush on every form of social media on which they might possibly exist.
JUST Facebook is for amateurs.
5. Which, of course, leads to you planning an elaborate scheme to have every single class together next year which always ends in the two of you being engaged by the second day of school.
What? You need SOME way to entertain yourself over the summer.
6. Hit up the ice cream truck multiple times a day.
Once you accept that we are all Pavlov’s dog in response to the ice cream truck’s jingle, this one gets easier to accept.
7. Experience FOMO like never before.
According to Snapchat and Instagram, *LITERALLY* EVERYONE I KNOW is currently cavorting around Europe. How?!?!
8. Think about getting ahead on your summer reading…
9. But actually just re-read John Greene’s oeuvre until the night before school starts.
You think these tears are gonna cry themselves out?
10. Whine about the really cool family vacation your parents are taking you on.
You’ll get in that cross-country RV and you’ll like it.
11. Wonder how you ever survived the school year.
What are classes? What is math? What is a textbook? It all seems so distant now…
12. Destroy your sleep schedule beyond repair.
Going to bed in the early morning and waking up in the early afternoon is totally what Benjamin Franklin was implying when he said “early to bed, early to rise,” right?
13. Pretend that you also hate that one song that keeps playing radio like everyone else…
14. But when you’re alone, you secretly blast it.
What? It’s catchy.
15. Try to have a summer fling.
There’s really no GOOD way for this to end, but it’s a fun thought.
16. Devote your days to Pinterest, but never actually make any of the crafts or recipes.
Just keep pinning, just keep pinning…
17. And, if you do try your hand at crafting, you remember why you usually don’t bother:
18. Find yourself identifying deeply with Baby from Dirty Dancing.
This has been my favorite summer movie since I was 15. If you watch it enough, whenever you hear the words “nobody puts Baby in the corner,” you’ll start to weep.
19. Gradually lose enthusiasm for your summer job.
What jerk made it sound like nannying for eight hours a day was going to be “fun?”
20. Go to the movies exclusively for the AC.
“What are we seeing? Ted 2? Entourage? Great. Whatever, Mark Wahlberg. Just get me out of the heat.”
21. Find as many county fairs as you can, simply for the pig races and fried food.
I, personally, don’t believe it’s summer until I’m surrounded by at least 50 people in overalls.
22. Instagram a picture of your legs in front of a body of water. Hot dogs or legs?
If we all accept we are basic, then no one is basic.