Justin Bennett

Kicking Ass for 31 Years

There are a few things you need to know about this man ....

  • There is no chin under Justin Bennett's Beard. There is only another fist.
  • Justin Bennett is the reason Waldo is hiding
  • Justin Bennett doesn't worry about one-night stands because Justin Bennett's sperm kills babies.
  • When Justin Bennett wants an egg...He cracks open a chicken
  • Justin Bennett uses Tabasco sauce instead of visine
  • Justin Bennett's tears could cure cancer. Too bad Justin Bennett never cried...........EVER
  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Justin Bennett
  • Justin Bennett plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball
  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Justin Bennett pajamas.
  • Justin Bennett got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Justin Bennett for every answer. Why? Because Justin Bennett is never wrong.
  • Justin Bennett doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • Justin Bennett covers his Slip 'n' Slide with gravel.
  • Justin Bennett doesn't need to do anything for a Klondike Bar.

Justin Bennett speaks the truth

When Justin Bennett goes to a baseball game, the baseball game watches Justin Bennett