Dec. 25


This morning I just got my cat. I named him Poof. Maybe because he keeps disappearing.  Maybe because his fur is just like POOF. Dad says he's a white Persian cat. I don't really care. As long as he stays poofy. It's the only thing he has going for him. He hides way too much. Poof tried to hide his face when I took a picture. This was right after we got home from PetCo. I'll tape the picture below. Today's Christmas, and I spent half of it looking for Poof. I just want to hug him and take care of him. Is that too much to ask? I better get back to looking for Poof.


I am in the sink. Curled up in the shape of one of those silly dog toys. I am looking at a shiny board. It is on the wall. Other Me in the board is also looking at me. One thing I have learned. Do not try to play with Other Me. I am hiding from Owner. I have to. But this is a good spot to hide. If Owner sees me. I will hop the other way. And hide again.


That is Owner. And that silly name. What is Poof? Maybe I am Poof.


about: timothy herton

problem: accused a cat of speech

status: still a lunatic

full report:

herton is sitting day after day. he has growing even crazier. herton still believes the white persian cat is capable of speech. he nibbles on his food, and licks himself clean. a cat disorder might have sprouted.

report by: worker 2905


I just found Poof a few minutes ago. He's sitting on the kitchen counter, as I warily watch him. Sweet Sadie deserved this gift, and the cat's messing it up by disappearing to who knows where. She's been waiting for a pet cat forever. Oh, that stupid cat. Sadie won't return it back to the pet store though. She's as stubborn as a mule. My stomach growls like an untamed monster. I eye the cat carefully making sure he stays, and then urgently run to the cabinet to grab a bag of chips. By the time I sprint back, Poof is gone. Frustrated I slammed my hand into the bag of chips, accidentally exploding it. The air from the pack created a loud POP! Chips started to leap out of the bag and into the air. It was raining chips. Sighing, I set off to find the broom.

Dec. 25

Sadie stood in her locked bedroom. She caught Poof and trapped both of them inside her bedroom. That way, no one comes in and no one gets out. Sadie grabbed a ball of yarn and chucked it at the cat. Poof sprung up and seized the yarn airborne. Distracted, Poof, on the ground once again, pawed repeatedly at the ball.

Sadie, amazed and full of excitement said, "WOW! I never knew my male cat could do that. You look really girly by the way."

Poof having heard, looked up.

Glaring at Sadie, Poof said "I AM A LADY! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME MALE!"

Sadie gasped, and stuttered out, "T-t-the cat can t-t-talk!" And feinted, not able to bear any more shock.

Realizing what she has done, Poof looked mortified. She trudged under Sadie's hand and lay there until Sadie woke up.


Right when Sadie called Poof a male, she could not take it any more. Poof tried to hold it in, she really did. It bursted out of her like chips out of a popped bag.

This was all her fault, Poof thought, now I'll be taken away, and then I will never find a family!

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