THE FRENCH TRENCH
Lady and Gentlelice, step right up, step right up. There's a new and better place to eat now! Ditch your old and run down holes and burrows, there's just old, bland, and boring food bad. The best, newfangled place to eat is called The French Trench! You see, the food here is simple. After many experiments, we've discovered that these humans eat so unhealthy that their blood is so thick and fatty that it makes for better food for us! The conditions in The French Trench are perfect for going on a nice date with your special licefriend. It's damp and dark! Add in an abundance of food and viola, a perfect meal. The food is delicious and comes at a low price. Another good thing about this new restaurant is that you can bring kids! Larvae, eggs, all of them! AND this place isn't just for lice! You can bring your other disease friends too! The water makes it perfect for diseases to reproduce and travel. Also, the humans don't shower very often. The V.I.P. lounge includes wet socks right up against wet feet, all held together by working boots! That's the best of the best kind of food. AND if you're looking for a deal, that isn't worth the risk of getting removed from the restaurant, you can feast on rotting food left over from the humans.
Also, our V.I.P. lounge is very appealing, if you can get in, that is. Our V.I.P. lounge includes wet socks right up against wet feet, all held together by tough boots!
Disclaimer: If you decide to bring your family to The French Trench, you may run the risk of being burnt by lighters or hot water.