Banana Wins Kids' Hearts
Giant "banana man" brings gifts of tortilla-wrapped peanut butter and bananas to Passmore kids
by Quen Summa
Watch out! An extreme mutant banana is mysteriously stealing the hearts of children. Who knew a banana could wield such power?
"He won my heart by doing that ridiculous pose," said an anonymous user from Passmore Elementary School. "I thought it was just a normal Friday, but when I walked out of the music room, I saw it. Peel and all."
As the children gleefully jumped into the arms of the giant mutant banana, he continued his rampage of kind and loving acts. He smiled and gave high fives as he continued with that abnormally cheerful smile.
"I am outraged!" said a local kindergartner as the banana gave her a sticker and shooed her away. "When I went to go get my banana wrap, all I saw was one banana and a bunch of peels." Her quiet protest went unanswered.
That's it for our news. Have a good Sunday, folks!
Melba Passmore Elementary School - the scene of the crime...