Paco and The Boys
When Paco woke from his mid afternoon nap on Thursday, he felt a sense of excitement. Thursday night was poker night, and Paco knew that it meant a long fun night of laughing, yelling, and name calling.The only concern was getting there unnoticed. Paco lived in a retirement home, and always felt like he had no free time to do what he wanted. So that is why he, and the rest of his crew, would all sneak down to the secluded basement of the retirement home, to play poker once a week. Paco proceeded to put on his nicest Swedish designer suit, gold chain, slicked back his long blonde hair, and started to sneak down to the basement.
Once Paco pushed open the large wooden door of the basement, he was greeted by booming “hellos” from every direction. It was only on these special nights that Paco truly enjoyed himself. I mean, how couldn’t he? Sitting around a poker table with many of his childhood friends, reminiscing about the old mafia days. Paco was the smallest of the group, standing at only five foot and five inches. What he lacked in size though, he made up for in leadership, hard work, personality, and determination. Paco was the leader of the group back when all the boys were in their primes, and he still made sure of that today.
In their group, there was Victor, Frank, Ed, Willy, and Paco. Victor, Frank, and Ed all go way back with Paco. Even as young boys, all four of them were causing trouble in the schoolyard of their Catholic church. As the boys got older they soon started to get in some trouble with the law. After Paco repeatedly stole the purses of older women, and eventually got caught, he was sentenced to four months in a juvenile detention center. This was where Paco met Willy. At that time Willy was weak, scrawny, and a self-conscious fourteen year old boy looking for someone to accept him. Willy was sentenced to six months after he robbed a local grocery store with a fake gun. Paco noticed Willy’s insecurities and took advantage of them. Paco was determined that when he got of the juvenile detention center that he would become rich, by returning to his old ways. Paco needed one more guy to help him with his plan, and Willy needed friends, so the two became close.
“Lets hurry up and get this poker game started,” bellowed Frank. “Pick a card, and the highest card gets to deal.”
“You’re always in a hurry,” questioned Ed. “Why can’t you ever just relax?”
“Can’t you two ever just stop bickering?” replied Victor. “You sound like my wife and her sister, and let me tell you, no one wants to hear that!”
“Everyone, just be quiet, the fight is about to start,” interrupted Paco.
Paco, since at a young age, had always been obsessed with fighting, even getting in fights himself. Now though, he couldn’t fight, because he was an old man and he didn’t need to fight anyone in the retirement home. So for entertainment, he loved to watch Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). He personally enjoyed watching other people beat each other half to death, so MMA suited him well.
“Hey Paco, who do you think is going to win the fight tonight?” asked Victor.
“Davis of course, will win,” replied Paco. “I mean Johnson is a complete joke.”
“You want to know something? I can’t stand all of these stupid commercials,” expressed Willy. “Especially those horrible OxiClean commercials with that dumb Billy Mays. I just can’t even stand to look at his face! It just gets me all fired up.”
“Frank, tell me something. What is it like working for him?” inquired Ed.
Frank, as a side job, worked as a cameraman for years. Now that he has gotten older and can not do as much as before, he works as the part time cameraman for all of the OxiClean commercials filming with Billy Mays.
“Let me tell you about that guy,” stated Frank. “He might be one of the most arrogant, self-absorbed, demanding, and ridiculous people I have ever been around. He was so angry about a month ago when people didn’t believe that OxiClean worked, he started this crazy rumor.”
“What’s the rumor?” inquired Willy.
“The rumor is that he is now persuading, even by way of kidnapping, people to use them as a sponge with OxiClean, to clean large toilets,” answered Frank.
“Wait a second, how is he kidnapping these people?” asked Paco.
“Well, I think he might be kidnapping some of the people that go to the free OxiClean giveaway events,” replied Frank.
Paco suddenly jumped up from his chair, ripped open the wooden door to the basement, and sprinted as fast as his old legs could go up the stairs. Startled by his reaction, the rest of the boys tried to follow closely behind. By the time they caught up to Paco, he was standing in the empty room that belonged to Mary.
“What’s the matter?” asked Victor, gasping for air.
“Where is Mary at?” asked Paco to a nearby nurse.
“I have absolutely no clue,” stated the nurse. “She should’ve been home hours ago, but she is no where to be found. We are trying to reach her family now.”
“Paco, why do you care so much where this woman is at?” asked Willy.
Paco, with a worried reaction, turned around and said, “This woman that is missing is actually my soon to be wife. I proposed to her three months ago, and our wedding is scheduled for this upcoming June 2013. She went to one of these free OxiClean giveaways this morning, and she hasn’t returned!”
“Then let’s go get her,” declared Victor.
“No one is going anywhere!” stated the nurse.
Paco, suddenly with a fit of rage, pushed the nurse into the wall, ripped her picture identification off of her neck, and stole her car keys. Then, he and the boys broke out of the retirement home, and jumped into the nurse’s car.
“Where do we even know where to go?” asked Ed.
“I heard Billy Mays has this private shooting set in the warehouse out behind the OxiClean building,” answered Frank.
“Lead the way, then,” said Paco sternly.
With the rain pouring down on the stolen car, Paco could hardly see out of the front windshield. Then, all of the sudden, the side car doors started to grow wings right before their very eyes. The car started to lift off of the ground and began to fly into the air. The car’s speed kept increasing and increasing. Before they knew it, Paco looked out of the window to see the car high above the road traveling much faster than all of the cars below them. Suddenly, the car started making an abrupt descendance toward the ground.
“How do you stop this thing?” screamed Paco.
Immediately there was a slamming boom. The airbags went off, and everyone went unconscious from their impact. When Paco regained his consciousness, the car was a mess. Most of the windows were broken out, and the four other guys were still not moving. Slowly Paco got out of the car, only to feel excruciating pain in his head and left arm.
“Get up boys!” Paco yelled. “I said get up,” screamed Paco while pulling everyone out of the car.
Instantaneously, all of the guys regained consciousness, and snapped up to help.
“Where are we?” asked Willy softly.
Looking up at a dark and dreary old warehouse, Paco said, “I think this is where Mary is.”
Running up to the front doors of the warehouse, Paco yanked on them continuously, but neither of them budged.
“Why won’t these open?” asked Paco in an irritated voice.
“Ed and Willy, go check around the right side of the building. Frank, Victor, and myself will check around the left side,” directed Paco. “Scream if anything goes wrong.”
As Paco ran around the left side of the building, he couldn’t help but think of little Mary’s body being dumped into OxiClean and then being used to clean a large toilet. When Paco came back into reality, he heard a booming laugh followed by a loud flushing noise.
“Hey guys, I found a door,” hollered Frank. “Come on!”
Ripping the door open, Paco ran as hard as he could into the dark hallway. He had no idea where to go, but he followed the loud and booming laughter, until he came upon a window. Through the window Paco saw Mary tied up to a chair with her mouth duct taped shut. By the look on her face, and the tears running down her cheeks, Paco knew she was absolutely terrified. She was only two more people away from being dumped into the toilet by mean Billy Mays. Paco immediately punched through the window, and climbed into the warehouse, followed by Victor and Frank. With a defining cheer, Paco yelled, “I’m coming for you, Mary!”
Billy Mays abruptly turned around and screamed, “Guards, get them!”
The two guards that were standing next to Billy, each grabbed a hose and started spraying what seemed to be OxiClean at the three charging men. Paco dodged the OxiClean and made a beeline toward Billy Mays. Billy saw the charging angry old man and prepared himself to fight. Billy pulled out a knife and started waving it at Paco. With one swift and smooth move, Paco faked a punch, kicked the knife out of the Billy’s hand, and elbowed Billy down to the edge of the toilet. With Billy holding on for dear life, he was begging for Paco to spare him. Paco kneeled down and whispered into Billy’s ear, “OxiClean is absolute trash,” and then pushed him into the large, flushing toilet.
Paco picked up Billy’s knife and cut all of the remaining hostages lose, including Mary. Turning around, he saw his four best friends standing over the two tied up guards, and at that moment, he knew everyone was safe. Mary rushed into his arms crying and thanking him for all that he had done to save her and the others. The only thing Paco had to say was, “I’m glad you’re safe. Let’s go home, baby.”
Paco, Mary, and the boys piled into the stolen car, and magically enough, it flew them back to the home safely in seconds. When they returned to the retirement home, they swiftly went into their rooms and flopped into bed, all tired from a long adventurous day.