Quality Friendships

By: Ashley Johnson

Handling Peer Pressure

  • Think ahead about what you are going to do if certain situations come up.  You might even practice what you will say or do.
  • Avoiding high risk behaviors and harmful substances.  Somethings you can say when you are in a bad situation are. "This goes against my values."  "I don't want to get hooked on alcohol or drugs."  "I don't smoke."  "I value my life too much to do that."  "I have too much self respect to take that risk."  "I'm not into that go away."  "I'm not ready, I want to wait until I'm married."  "I don't want to get AIDS or STD's.
  • Suggest other activities, think of things that you think they would like to do that are fun, healthy, safe ,and legal.  Let your friends know you would like to be with them, but not if it means doing something illegal, unsafe ,or wrong.  Some safe things we could do include playing a sport, video games, or go hang out in the mall or places where you are surrounded by people; that way not many people will want to do something stupid.
  • Choose your friends carefully.  Develop a friendship with peers that have the same interests and qualities as you.  A good friend will make you happy when your sad and will stick up for you when you are being hurt or bullied or just need someone to talk to.  When you can trust them with almost anything and that they wont spill the beans about it ,or when you can be honest with them at all times no matter what.
  • Let someone know whats going on.  Talk to a teacher or a parent and speak up. Let them no if you are having problems.  They can give you the support and encouragement you need to resist or fight against the pressure of your peers.  When you hold it in it all just builds up inside and eventually it ends up turning to self harm or you want to harm someone else.  If you talk to a parent they can either help you or they can ask someone that will and can help you.

Verbal Communication

  • When you have a problem or need to give your opinion about something make sure you put your opinion in not what other people choose for you or what other people like.  Speak for yourself. Share your own experiences and feelings.  Do not assume that other people know what you think ,what you want, how you feel.  Only you know what you really want ,so you choose what you say and what you do.
  • Avoid speaking for others.  Do not assume that you know what other people think ,or feel the same way as you feel or want what you want. Everyone has there own opinion and they have a right to say it for themselves.  When you speak for others sometimes it might end up good ,but most of the time it will be wrong and they wont tell you why it is wrong.
  • Be clear and direct.  Tone of voice can reveal your feelings.  You can send mixed messages if your tone does not match the words you are using then how are they going to no what you are saying.  When you are clear to someone they can understand you better.  When you are mumbling or talking in a low voice people may not be able to understand you ,and they could think you said something mean to them ,and stop talking to you.
  • Beware of your listener.  Check to see that your listener understands what you are saying.  Somethings that tell you that they are having trouble understanding what you are saying.  The expression on there face.  There voice might sound different.  They might mess with the things around them.  Make sure they want to listen to you don't try and make them listen to you.  If they don't want to listen to you they won't make eye contact ,or even act like they are listening ,they will look around the room,  play with the things around them.
  • Ask questions when you don't understand something or need to no something.  Ask who, what ,when ,where ,why and how questions. These questions help others share their thoughts and feelings.  When you ask these questions you are helping people get information about the problem.  These questions can help police or parents if the conflict is really bad or not true.

How to handle a bully

  • Tell your parents ,a teacher, counselor, or another trusted adult if someone bullies you or another person.
  • Do not get angry and strike back.
  • Either respond firmly or walk away with your head held high.
  • Stick up for other people that are being bullied.
  • If you don't say anything when someone is being bullied you are a bully too.
  • Stay away from the bullies hangouts.
  • What a Good Friend is.
  • A good friend is the person you want to hang out with the most. The person you see and get along with the most. A friend that will listen to you and not make fun of you for the way you are. Someone that enjoys your company. When you guys hang out they are doing things with you not just playing on there phone or on the phone with someone else. They try to do somethings you want to do they don't just ignore what you want to do.
  • A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.-Walter Winchell
  • Support and help each other through difficult times. Accept each other as they are. Listen when the other needs to talk. Honest with each other. Encourage each other to avoid harmful things and situations. Make sure you can depend on that person. Encourage your friends to try new things that are not illegal or will hurt them.
  • Describe a Good Friend
  • A good friend should be caring, trust worthy, dependable, reliable, They do not make you do things you don't want to do. They share secrets with you. They don't lie to you ,or talk about you behind your back. They are the person that help you the most when you need it.

How to Make New Friends

  • You should make an effort. Talk to them. See what they like and are interested in. Make sure they want to be your friend. Hang out with your new friend. Introduce them to your other friends make sure they like each other and that they all get along. Make sure to find things you and your new friend have in common.
  • Growing apart, changing relationship. They may get too busy and get more responsibilities. You or your friend may discover new activities and interests. When this happens don't get mad at each other try to still be friends. Try and talk to each other sometimes when you have time.

Appreciating Diversity

  • If we did not have diversity we would all look the same way or feel the same way about things. Everyone will play the same sport, wear the same clothes, go to the same school, eat the same thing every night, have the same houses. With diversity we all have our own opinions and choices to make ,and we all have our own responsibilities and way of expressing things. We can all have different things instead of having what everyone else has. The differences could consist of their reading level ,athletic ability, cultural background, personalities, religious beliefs.
  • You can show that you appreciate diversity by sharing your opinion if it is nice. You can recognize that everyone around have there all unique in there own way. You can show people you notice their diversity and tell them why you like it. You can show them by trying to help the persons when he/she needs it.

Positive Peer Pressure

  • Acceptance or approval from your peers. Having some friends that appreciate you will help you. When your friends are there for you it will make you feel better. Your peers motivate you to try new things that won't get you into trouble.

Negative Peer Pressure

  • Some peer pressure can make you feel unwanted or unpopular and sometimes like you shouldn't have been born ,and uncomfortable. They can try and get you to do things you don't want to do like drugs ,alcohol , or something that goes against your religion or your expectations that you have for yourself.  When you see peer pressure happening and its not good you shouldn't just stand there you should go help them get out of the situation ,or go get an adult to help.

Choices and Responsibilities

  • How to choose good friends.  Listen to your friends,  good friends don't do or say anything bad to your friends.  Try to stick up for each other and try to help your friend get into a better mood.  They are honest with each other.  You can depend on your friends to help you with things or just to help you with what ever you need help with at that time.  If they can even help you.  They don't boss each other around or threaten them.

Comment Stream