Dating Violence

Dating violence~controlling, abusive, and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or a combination of all 4.

Have you seen any evidence of someone being sexually or physically abused?

If you have, have you reported it?

Do you know the effects that it has made on this victim?

Did you ever try to help them?

Are you a victim of dating violence?

  1. Almost 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a partner in one year.
  2. One in 10 high school students have been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a significant other.
  3. Young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence.
  4. About 72% of eighth and ninth graders are having intimate relationships.
  5. Being physically or sexually abused makes girls six times more likely to become pregnant at a young age.
  6. Violent relationships in young adults can have serious outputs by putting the victims at risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence.
  7. Only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.
  8. 81% percent of parents believe teen dating violence is NOT an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue.

If you are a victim of dating violence of know of anyone who is call the following numbers listed at the bottom.

WHO CAN BE A VICTIM OF DATING VIOLENCE?

       Dating Abuse can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

SIGNS THAT YOUR PARTNER IS ABSUVE OR WILL BECOME ABUSIVE

  • Has a short temper
  • Acts very jealous
  • Exaggerates fights
  • Tell or suggest what you should wear
  • Try to limit who you talk to
  • Make you tell him/her where you are going and who you are with
  • Tell you when you have to be home
  • Put you down
  • Take up most of your time
  • Hurt you physically or throw things at you
  • Get angry when you disagree with them
  • Pressure you to engage in sexual activity that you feel uncomfortable with
  • Make you feel like you can't say no to sexual activity
  • Embarrass you in front of others

IS MY FRIEND A VICTIM?

Here are some ways to tell of your friend is a victim.

  • Become more isolated from family and friends
  • Not enjoy doing activities that he/she used to enjoy
  • Spent excessive amounts of time in contact with his/her partner
  • Been afraid to displease their partner
  • Changed the way they act or dress
  • Been physically injured by their partner
  • Become more aggravated and/or less independent
  • Been getting nervous when they are running late
  • Cancel plans or seem nervous to participate in certain activities
  • Been called names, embarrassed, ridiculed, or insulted by their partner in front of you or other people
  • Apologized or made excuses for the actions or behaviors of his or her partner

IF YOU OR A FRIEND IS IN THIS SITUATION THEN YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF IT IN A SAFE WAY.

THE CYCLE OF ABUSE

Cited: http://www.teensagainstabuse.org/index.php?q=cycle


1) The cycle starts with the green stage, which is exemplified as being a state when both partners are happy to be in a relationship, at this point the relationship is loving and enjoyable.

2) The next stage is the yellow stage in which tension is building within the relationship. The couple may be getting into small arguments, and the abuser may become frustrated with their partner. The victim does their best to reason with the abuser, calm the abuser, and stays away from their friends and family to try and work on the relationship. This is the same stage where the abuser is nitpicking at the victim. They are yelling, screaming, threatening and blames everything on the victim. This is also the period where the abuser may act sullen and withdrawal affection from the victim. This phase lasts the longest it could last from days, to weeks, months, or even years.

3) The last stage is the red stage. This stage is usually the shortest stage and the most harmful. This stage is based on one specific incident that leads to an explosion of anger. The abuser may sexually, physically, psychologically or verbally harm their partner. Some abusers may use a weapon against the victim, pull their hair, and publicly humiliate the victim. This is the time when the victim may call the police, fight back and leave the relationship.

4) The abuser quickly defaults into the green stage again to make up for their behavior. This is when the abuser will bringflowers, declare their love for the victim, say they are sorry, and may even enter counseling. During this time the abuser will blame outside forces for the abuse, say they are stressed and makes empty promises that things will change. The victim at this time will end all legal procedures against the abuser, go back to the relationship, agrees to work things out and feels hopeful that things will change.

HOTLINES

1. 1-866-331-9474

2. 1-800-799-7233

3. 1-800-442-4673

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