Come To The Frontline!
A message to all fellow of my fellow lice, especially those in need of good food. Come to the front lines. The humans are fighting some sort of war, but that's a minor thing. The important thing is that they have all these soldiers sitting in these mud filled trenches for weeks on end. Easy pickings for us. Many of us are already there, along with the dirty and unrefined rats. We don't have to worry about the rats though, they feed off the scraps of human food, this leaves plenty on the dirty soldiers for us. The humans do have ways to stop us though. They use lighted candles to try to burn us out, but most of them end burning their clothes too. They also have these big vats of hot water that they occasionally bathe in to get rid of us. During this process the humans put their clothes through delousing machines. A very creative name to be sure. These machines may well not exist though. Our eggs still remain after this process and the heat from the humans bodies help them hatch. So there are absolutely no drawbacks. All lice should head over to the front lines to get their fair share of food. Our friends the rats will benefit from us as well. As all of my fellow lice reading this know, most of us carry diseases. The humans have taken to calling it Trench Fever, once again an incredibly original and creative name. It causes them pain as well as their body heat to rise, which makes our eggs hatch very quickly. It doesn't kill the humans, but it makes them more vulnerable and our friends the rats have been known to swarm the living soldiers for food. Especially the vulnerable ones. Overall there are no drawbacks whatsoever for us lice to head to these trenches to feed, and our friends the rats benefit as well. So as I said before. Come to the Front Line!