Come on a journey to France, my lice!
Right now, you're probably sitting on an American, getting the same old American taste. But if you call right now, you will have a chance to come on an all expenses paid trip to France's soldier filled trenches!
Yes way! These men are all packed together and are weighed down by all their equipment. They have made it easy to spread as well because of the trench rats they have. They can make 880 offspring (per pair)! That makes it sooooo much easier for us to spread!
Now, the French will try to get you away by burning you, but, they will burn their clothes while trying to burn you, making it easier for other lice to get them. they will also put their clothes in hot vats of water. this will barely work for them though, because most of our eggs will withstand that and allow us (and possibly you) the opportunity to start populating.
We can also easily spread the disease of pyrrexhia or trench fever, which will cause shooting pains in their shins and a very high fever.
So call the number we have supplied you with as we wish you the best of luck in being our lucky winner!