January 16, 2014
I feel like some people have their whole lives figured out. They know what college they want to go to, what they want to major in, what they want their job to be, and where they want to live. They have their whole future mapped out perfectly. They have their perfect 4.0 GPA, they're top of the class, play sports, and are even apart of band. Not to mention all of the club that they're apart of. They're balancing school, sports, and their social life perfectly, like its no big deal at all. And here I am. I can't even make an make all A's and I don't play sports, and my social life is close to nonexistent.
I wish that I could be as smart, pretty, and calm about the future as they are. But I'm so terrified about what college I'm going to go to that I can't focus on my school now. I'm so terrified that I'm going to end up leading the most normal life, and have no impact on the world at all. I'm terrified that no one will remember me when I die because I played it safe and went to college. Because I didn't hop on that plane. Because I didn't audition. I'm just terrified that I won't have anything for people to remember me by.
But most of all, I'm terrified of growing up.