The Hero's Handbook to Hooking Up:
An Alternative Universe

A Word from the Wise

Before we begin, if you're looking for that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, this will not be your tutorial. True love just happens, and the only reason you're missing out on it is because you're inside right now reading this article.

What we will be learning today is how to take home and sleep with a pierced, inked, drop dead gorgeous scene queen tumblr girl, and how to maintain such a lifestyle without screwing yourself, which in fact does not just happen.

Hooking up is a skill gentlemen, not an ability, and not solely a natural gift, which leads to one is universally achievable, and easily achievable at that. Everybody wants to have sex, yes, even women, so why does it present itself as one of the largest challenges in a man's life.

Know Your Audience
Pt 1.

"The female psyche and other mental barriers"

A woman that acts on every sexual whim is a whore, slut, floozy, hussy, tart, and a tramp...but why? A man that does the same is a stud and a player, and is looked up to in admiration by his piers.

This, my friends, is the very first real mental barrier...and it's a strong one at that.               This idea is so strongly implanted into the moral fiber of women worldwide it's astounding that we haven't gone extinct as a species already. "but people still hook up on a regular basis, which means that this barrier must have a flaw, a weak point, right?" Well, yes, this mental block, or "V-chip", as i like to call it, does have its weaknesses, but men around the world aren't crashing through these walls every night, they are instead, climbing over them, circumventing them, and ill tell you how.

Im not saying this is always the case, but when a girl gets all dressed up and goes out, she is subconsciously on the hunt for a man who is going to put forth a certain amount of effort in order to gain her attention and in turn, her affection. The amount of effort that a man puts forth affects and is effected by a woman's self worth, lets break it down. If her self worth is high, it will take a whole lot of effort in order to gain her affection, and if it's low, not so much. Inversely, if a man