Depression: the hidden darkness in each of us

Depression is not only a state of being sad.
By: Carley Eye

Depression is more than a state of mind.
Depression is a disease that conquers the ability to feel emotion.There are many different types of depression. The big one out there is major depression ,major depression is where you don't have to be hospitalized or medicated.Depression is not a term just to be thrown around; it is a severe state of being.
Depression can happen in anyone, even the ones you least expect. I have many friend that have many problems; as do I. Everyone has a story I am going to tell you mine, I have been through so much in my life, moving, new friends, enemies, and so much more.
I have self experiences with all kinds of things, I have friends to talk to that understand, they also have the same feelings and problems.
In my life I have a best friend, well used to be best friend, she meant the world to me, I messed it up all because of a guy, she screamed out something very embarrassing to a certain person, it broke my heart, I tried to tell her I didn't do it on purpose I reacted wrong, she just wont forgive me, I know there is alot of things I need to think about tonight. I It hurts me to know my best friend of three years hates me, I just can't understand anything about it though, I know I was wrong but I really just don't want to loose my best friend.
My best friend happens to harm herself, as do I, we have both went through so much and so much pain we cant help our self's, it is very addicting after you have done it, I understand some people go through problems and they cant cope, but there's also the ones who are bullied, called names, and even pushed to do other things. I blame myself for everything that has happened in my life especially everything I have been through that may or may not have been my fault.
I know that I am gong to go through much more pain, I know its dumb, crazy, and maybe even to others disgusting but it helps out alot of people, but cutting, drugs, and even suicide are some common answers that come to mind when your hurt, upset, ugly, pretty, bullied, or anything that can or could in any possible way hurt someone.
I have two close best friends, well one now because I hurt the other I didn't mean to but I reacted to a problem that could have been resolved another way, I know that what I did accomplished nothing, I also know that what I did was a reaction many people would have had, I only wish that my ex-friend would understand I am truly sorry for now, the past, and even our future problems I just want people to know if anything in life happens and you don't know what to do don't do anything you will regret because in the future things should get better, you may not think it will now but if you just find any strength in anything possible make sure it wont be something your going to question in the future.
I began cutting my freshman year here at TCHS. I’m reticent to call it cutting, because I’m actually too afraid of causing irreparable damage to myself with the prototypical razor blades. I couldn't get through this and I came to a breaking point in my life I lost many other family members also. These girls made me I was so afraid to tell an adult because I thought they were going to pick on me for more things so I kept all this pain inside for the longest. I carried all this pain with me through the summer. At times I m still afraid to go to school because of this pain.I cut myself once but it got worse, and I tried killing myself with overdosing on Tylenol's and other pain killers, and I think about what might have happened if I would of succeeded in this, and I am so upset that I went that far, I regret it but it really did help me at the time.
I keep to myself about all this but if anyone reads this I really hope that they choose not to harm themselves, please don't harm yourself it only leads to more thinking, pain, and problems, I hope that if anyone goes through anything that they will talk to their parent, I sure wish I would have. I know that in life things happen but you can get through it no matter what don't give up, don't give up on yourself.


Comment Stream