Who Should You Invite To Your Wedding?

There’s a reason people say that a person’s wedding day is THEIR big day. Your wedding should be a reflection of you and your spouse, and should feature all the people, places, and things that make you two your happiest selves. If you’re on a strict wedding budget (and most engaged couples are) and you’re unsure of who you should invite to your wedding, you can rest easy knowing that you do not have to invite absolutely everyone you know. There are people you can leave off the invite list and not feel bad about it — not one single bit.

It’s hard not to feel a twinge of guilt when crossing off a name, but every additional guest means another expensive dinner, another slice of cake, another dip into the available booze you have, and they will probably come with a guest, so multiply the above by two. This day is going to be stressful enough without having to worry about the distant relative or toxic former acquaintance you settled on inviting, and whether or not they’ll cause drama on your special day. So to make it easier (and to remove every sliver of potential guilt you might feel), here’s a list of people you don’t need to invite to your wedding.

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1. Your Ex-BFF

She’s your ex-BFF for a reason. Remember the reason you two chose to part ways, and figure out whether or not you want to experience all of those negative feelings on your wedding day. I’m guessing no.

2. Your Condescending Aunt Or Uncle

I know this just isn’t possible for some families, because sometimes you have to AT LEAST extend the invite to relatives you aren’t close to and do not particularly enjoy spending time with, but if you really want your wedding to go smoothly, just don’t invite the mean relatives. What’s the point? Either they’ll be rude in person and upset you on the day of your nuptials, or they’ll make you feel guilty for not getting the invite. Between the two options, I’d choose the latter.

3. Your Cousins (Whose Weddings You Were Not Invited To)

This is an easy one. They made the tough choice not to invite you to theirs, so they will TOTALLY understand (and probably feel better about theirs) if you decide to not invite them to yours. Even Steven.

4. Your More Toxic Secondary Friends

We all have ‘em. People we aren’t super close with, but see a couple times a month. You have a few laughs together and they somehow manage to slip in a backhanded compliment just when you think the two of you are getting along swimmingly. These people do not deserve to taste your wedding cake. Cut ‘em out.

5. Your Boss

It really depends on the relationship you have with your boss, but in most cases, it’s probably best to leave them off the list. You will be the most vulnerable version of yourself for most of the day, and then you’ll get drunk. So if you’re cool with your boss seeing that, then by all means. But if not, then just don’t invite them.

6. Your Coworkers

This can be tricky, because you might want to invite one or two and not the rest. That’s fine, but you have to understand that once you open that door at work, those coworkers will openly talk to you about the wedding plans and other coworkers will overhear. Some feelings might get hurt, and that’s a weird issue to overcome with your colleagues.

7. Your Childhood Friend (Whom You’re No Longer In Touch With)

People grow apart — that’s life. And just because when you were little girls, you talked all about your dream wedding together does not mean that 20 years later, she’s expecting to attend your ceremony. She would probably be honored to receive an invite, and she might even attend if invited, but if you’re trying to cut costs and you’re not even close to this person anymore, don’t feel bad about not inviting her.

8. Your Ex

Unless your ex is currently your BFF and will be in your wedding party (and if that’s the case — you’ve already won at life and don’t need any advice from me), just don’t do it. It will be uncomfortable, it’ll conjure up mixed emotions and might even confuse you on the big day, and it’s just an all around bad idea.

9. Your Former Flings

Same goes for the less serious previous partners. Even if it was just sex and not much emotion, it’s still weird. And if it was just sex, why are you even still talking to them? You’re not having sex with them anymore, so they really shouldn’t be in your life.

10. Your Neighbor

As the wedding gifts begin to arrive on your doorstep, your neighbor might catch on to your approaching “I do”s. But unless they frequently ask for a cup of sugar and you guys are super tight, they just live next door and you don’t need to buy them a $60 dinner alongside your family and friends.

11. Any Acquaintances Or Distant Friends You Haven’t Seen Or Spoken With In Two Months

Know when to draw the line. The two-month rule is a great place to start. You might know a lot of people and have hung out with them on numerous occasions over the years, but if you haven’t seen or spoken to them in two months (and they haven’t moved away), then they don’t need an invite.

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