Take a Time-Twisting Trip to Ancient Egypt!
~ time mage travel agency ~

Do you crave the sight of pyramids? Would you kill for the satisfaction of learning how to write in hieroglyphics? Do you want to experience Ancient Egypt in a way you've never seen before? Well, dream no more! For a low payment of $100.00 per person, you can travel to Ancient Egypt on a glorious getaway!

Yes, we know it seems to good to be true!

Did you know?

Egypt is 386,662 square miles (1,001,449 square km). That's a lot of space to explore!

Egypt is also home to many cheetahs, hyenas, crocodiles, and cobras - but worry not! We've detained a special wildlife area for these animals and they will be absolutely no threat to you in your stay in Ancient Egypt. In fact, our animals are a popular attraction to many enthusiastic tourists!

Our wildlife is entirely tame and detained in a special habitat.
A map of the places you could see if you traveled with us! Upper Egypt is dubbed the most popular place for tourists to observe.

Daily Life - establishments for your convenience

In our luxurious hotel, The Camel Inn, there are glass roofs-so you can see the sun rise and set if you'd really like! You get your own master suite with a king-sized mattress and impeccable room service! Our hotel phones are also free-to-use, unlike other popular hotels!

We also provide walk-in showers for your leisure; we know how tough it can be to remove all that Egypt sand. To add to this, many people come travel with us solely for our inexpensive yet exclusive hotels and their many features!

An example of one of our master suites.

good eats!

In The Camel Inn, we truly care about every visitor - so we've installed an unbeatable restaurant! (Bread N' Beer Cafe) Here's just a small portion of things you can order here:

Warm Coffee - $2.00

Egyptian Breakfast - $12.00 (Includes mummy-shaped turkey bacon, scrambled eggs with ketchup, and buttered toast.)

Artisan bread - $1.00 a slice, $9.00 for an entire loaf (First time trying it? We'll give you a sample on the house.)

Beer - $4.00 a glass (Not sold to minors. Valid ID must be present. If given to us under false pretenses you will be transported back into the present and banned from our establishments. Contains alcohol!)

Buttery Beer-Bread Combo - $11.00 (Comes with 1 glass of beer and a loaf of warm, flaky, buttery artisan bread. Same rules apply as buying the beer shown above.)

...And so much more!

Bread and beer.. yum!
...Looks like a furry friend got ahold of some of our artisan bread!


To navigate Egypt, you may not want to walk. However, we do in fact offer..

Camel rides!

At the inexpensive price of $5.00 an hour, our purebred camels can get you relatively anywhere you'd want to go in Egypt! They truly are a fantastic source of transportation.

Did you know?

Camels have fatty deposits on their back called "humps".

Wind blows sand all around deserts, causing sandstorms. To adapt to this environment, camels have long eyelashes which assist in keeping raging sand out of the camel's eyes.

A few tourists riding some of our beloved camels.
Just an example of an Egyptian tunic that is quite common in Ancient Egypt.

What You Should Pack

As you may know, Egypt is very, very hot. This should be expected because, well, it's a desert. To survive this harsh climate change, you will want to pack the following items (based on the analytics and survey results of our tourists):

Tunics - These are for you to maintain a healthy body temperature while simultaneously fighting the constant desert heat.

Sandals - Again, these will protect you from the hot sands of Egypt.

Sunscreen - This is vital! The climate in Egypt is a very sudden and harsh change to many and it is quite difficult to adapt for many tourists at first. You may want to pack several bottles of sunscreen and different variants as well.

Pocket Money - This is important because if you want to eat, buy souvenirs, etc., you will need some kind of money. We have a bank where you can exchange currency; so having exclusively USD, for example, should not be a problem.

A beautiful sunning Egyptian desert.

Pleasurable Pastimes!

As you may expect, we have many enjoyable activities that patrons may participate in.

Anubis Amusement!

For merely $50.00, you will be equipped with 5 sheets of papyrus and assorted paints (including colors red, blue, black, yellow, and brown) to paint Anubis, the god with the head of a jackal. Once you are finished your painting, it will be displayed in our magnificent, tourist-made temple along with other depictions for others to observe and be mystified by for decades. Also like the Ancient Egyptians, you will receive your very own mini incense as a bonus for helping us keep our attractions open and decorating them - it's a fact that Ancient Egyptians worshipped their gods using incenses.

Pleasing Pyramids!

With tickets starting at the inexpensive price of $70.00 for an adult and $50.00 for a child, you can visit a real pyramid built by the Ancient Egyptians! Of course, we've refurbished the insides so there are no trapdoors or safety hazards. Generally, this pyramid is like a museum. Similarly to a museum, however, you may not touch any of the attractions inside of the pyramid (unfortunately). These artifacts, including burial places and famous sarcophagi, are thousands of years old; we can't have them be dismantled or mangled!* Fortunately though, you are allowed to freely observe these artifacts with no harm being done.

* = if caught moving about or taking anything from our museum, you will be escorted from our premises and forbidden to return.

Magnificent Mummification!

For only $30.00 per person*, you have the ability to watch three trained professionals (embalmer, cutter, and scribe as they had in Ancient Egypt) mummify a real donated body up close and personal. But we have to warn you, this showing is not for the faint of heart. These professionals do indeed remove all organs except the heart. This process takes many days to complete, however, usually around 70, so we've been granted the ability to automatically speed up the process with our time-twisting time machine! It may sound gross or gory**, but think about it; who gets to see a close-up mummification in their lifetime?

* = you must be 13 or older to be applicable for this attraction.

** = trigger warnings apply to this attraction.

Meet the Pharaohs!

This experience is absolutely FREE* to anyone who spends time with us here in our vacation homes in Ancient Egypt. It acts as a "thank you" to our tourists and visitors. Occasionally, we will have trained actors represent famous pharaohs such as Cleopatra VII, the famous lady from the Ptolemaic Dynasty who was in love with Mark Antony; to Rameses II, one of the longest ruling pharaohs who essentially built the foundation for Egypt to thrive. They are trained to interact with guests, but, be wary; they can be a bit hasty (we wanted to replicate the Pharaohs themselves without disturbing what was perceived to be their "afterlife")!

* = purchasable additional offers apply to this attraction; such as wearable headdresses, etc.

An outside look of our famous Pleasing Pyramids! attraction.
Snap of one of our mummies completed in our Magnificent Mummification! attraction.

Come Travel With Us!

For our cheap prices and tons of inexpensive activities, there's no way you can pass off this irrefutable offer! Again, for only $100.00 per person (base price), you can take a magnificent journey to Ancient Egypt and experience history firsthand.

Have we sparked your interest?

If so, contact Cameron Lyons at (1-800)-EGYPT-36.

Or, visit http://www.geo.timetravel.gov/egypt-trip/ for additional details.

We'll see you there!

We know that you'll vastly enjoy your time-twisting trip!

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