1) If you rent Disney movies for your kids instead of reading to them, you're ghetto.

2) If you get on the bus with a car phone, you're ghetto.
3) If you think Africa is a country, you're ghetto.
4) If you think African is a language, you're just as ghetto.
5) If your album collection is composed of tapes full of songs you recorded off the radio, you're ghetto.
6) If your hair is more than one color, then you're ghetto.
7) If you've never seen grass, you're ghetto.
8. If you see a relative of yours on the TV show Cops, then you're ghetto.
9) If you bite people while you're boxing, then you're ghetto.
10) If you have gold teeth and are homeless, you're ghetto.
11) If you wear the same suit to church every Sunday, but play it off by switching ties, you ghetto.
12) If you have sex just to keep your mind off of how hungry you are, you're ghetto.
13) If your kids have more Sega games than books, you're ghetto.
14) If you have a tatoo of your own name on your body, you're ghetto.
15) If you use magazines for coasters, you're ghetto.
16) If you buy the newspaper, just for the sports section or the comics, you're ghetto.
17) If you think Hard Copy is a legitimate news source, you're ghetto.
18. If you steal baskets from the supermarket, you're ghetto.
19) If you were not aware the word "ghetto" has an "h" in it, you're ghetto.
20) If all of your towels have a hotel's name on them, you are ghetto.
21) If your idea of heating the house is leaving the oven on, you're ghetto.
22) If you still play Atari, you're ghetto.
23) If you have memorized the words to either Ace Ventura movie (and/or sing along then Jim Carrey goes into one of his comedic numbers), you're ghetto.
24) If you are reading this at a friends house, you're ghetto.
25) If you put water in the barbecue to make it last longer, you're ghetto.
26) If you think barbecue is spelled: bar-b-q, you're ghetto.
27) If the store around your house has the Pac-man video game, you're ghetto.
28. If you have more gold teeth than original ones, you're ghetto.
29) If people you don't know have copies of your prom pictures, you ghetto.
30) If you keep a can of used grease on the stove to reuse it, you're ghetto.
31) If you carry around condiments in your purse, you're ghetto.
32) If the basketball goal on your corner is made of an old crate with the bottom cut out, you're ghetto.
33) If you grow dread locks, accidentally, you're ghetto.
34) If you think it's cute that your kids can't read or spell at the age of 6, you're ghetto.
35) If your idea of central air is a fan in the hallway, you ghetto.
36) If you sleep (or have slept) in the same bed with siblings, you ghetto.
37) If all you watch is WB, you're ghetto.
38. If you drink soda called simply Cola, Orange, Grape, etc., you're ghetto.
39) If you or your mother goes to the store with rollers in her hair, you're ghetto.
40) If you own t-shirts, hats, and blank tapes that say Kool or Salem, you're ghetto.
41) If your hair is yellow and your complextion is near blue, you're ghetto.
42) If your hoop earings are large enough to double as bracelets, you're ghetto.
43) If you own more VCR's than TV's, your ghetto (it's okay to get rid of them once they break).
44) If you have more fake hair than original, you're ghetto.
45) If you have the movie Friday memorized, you're ghetto.
46) If you put more sugar in your kool-aid than water, you're ghetto.
47) If you wear dress socks with tennis shoes, you're ghetto.
48. If you buy all of your appliances from "that guy around the corner," you ghetto (and an accomplice).
49) If your boss pays you in cash, you're ghetto.
50) If you sleep in a stocking cap, you're ghetto.
51) If "eggs and rice" is a part of your diet, you're ghetto.
52) If you put hand lotion in your hair, you're ghetto.
53) If you can run the block barefoot, you're a special ghetto.
54) If you have Netscape on an old Commadore 64, you're ghetto (and probably don't know it).
55) If your 2 year old can do the electric slide, you're ghetto.
56) If you go to restaurants weekly and say it's your birthday just to get a free desert, you're ghetto.
57) If you wear a Charles Barkley SUNS jersey, you're ghetto.
58. When you play basketball on the street and have to imagine the goal, you're ghetto.
59) If you brag about how many times you've been shot, you're ghetto.
60) If you eat syrup sandwiches, you're ghetto.
61) If you have an airbrushed shirt with "R.I.P. BOO MAN" on it, you're ghetto.
62) If your TV makes everybody look tall, skinny, and green, you're ghetto.
63) If you keep ketchup packets from fast food restaurants, you're ghetto.
64) If all of your straws come from McDonalds and Burger King, you're ghetto.
65) If you rap on No Limit Records, you're ghetto.
66) If you fry bologna, you're ghetto.
67) If you thought bologna was spelled "baloni," you're ghetto.
68. If you read entire magazines in the store, you're ghetto.
69) If your favorite rapper has "Mac" in his name (for example: Mack 10, Mac-Mall, the Macster, G-Mac, Mac Mike, the Mac Mobb, Big Mac, Forever Mackin', Killa D Mac, MC Mac, the Mac Squad, etc.), you're ghetto.
70) If you see dead roaches on the floor and don't throw them away, you're ghetto.
71) If you have sex doggie-style so you don't mess up your hair, you're ghetto.
72) If your house is furnished because of a riot, you're ghetto.
73) If you and your lover won't get married because it would interfere with your government check, you're ghetto.
74) If your socks have colored stripes at the top, you're ghetto.
75) If you use your front and back porch as storage space, you're ghetto.
76) If you lick the plate when you finish eating, you're a serious ghetto.
77) If you get jumped for wearing the wrong colors in your hood, you're ghetto.
78. If your infant wears regular seat belts when you drive, you're ghetto.
79) If you wear shorts with jogging pants under them, you're ghetto.
80) If your afro is shaped funny because you started growing it from a flat-top, you're ghetto.
81) If you answer to "psssssss," you're ghetto.
82) If you hold up ward or gang signs in pictures, you're ghetto.
83) If your grandma is called, "Nana," you're ghetto.
84) If the cashier at the check-cashing store knows you by your first name, you're ghetto.
85) If you write girls' phone numbers on lottery tickets, you're ghetto.
86) If you buy a walkie-talkie because you don't want to pay the phone bill, you're ghetto.
87) If you ever tried to make a phone with a coffee can and string, you're ghetto.
88. If you sleep on a matress that's on the floor, you're ghetto.
89) If you approach females with: "Say, boo...what yo' name is?" you ghetto.
90) If you have a weight bench in your back yard, you're ghetto.
91) If your grandma has the highest income in the family, you're ghetto.
92) If 2Pac was played at your funeral, you were ghetto.
93) If you think Jeru Da Damaja is a Schwarzenegger movie, you're definately ghetto.
94) If you spell "the" as "da"...or finish words with "-a" or "-ah" that normally end in "-er" you ghetto.
95) Your drinking glasses used to be mayonnaise or jelly jars.
96) If you're ridin' and you ask the guy in the car next to you to "turn it up," you're ghetto.
97) If your church says: "Ain't no party like a holy ghost party cause a holy ghost party don't stop!" you're ghetto.
98. If you're still jammin' to Kris Kross and any Hammer (or MC Hammer) album, you're ghetto.
99) If you've ever tried to start a fire with two pencils, you're ghetto.
100) If you think milk is good ten days after the expiration date, you're ghetto.
101) If all of your pencils are sharpened on both ends, you're ghetto.
102) If your idea of exercise is going to the club, you're ghetto.
103) If your ol' lady has more golds than you, that's messed up.
104) If your grandmother "wrecks sh*t" on bingo night, you're ghetto.
105) If the term: "player hater" is in your vocabulary, you're ghetto.
106) If you lost your virginity while BET's Rap City was on, you're ghetto.
107) If you throw your bus pass out of the window so your boy can ride for free, you're ghetto.
108.) If you think pencils still have lead, you're ghetto.
109) If you roll paper into a triangle and play "paper football," you're ghetto.
110) If you "don't have no nevermind," you ghetto.
111) If your nickname ends with "Dogg" or "Dawg," you're ghetto.
112) If your broom makes more dirt than it sweeps up, you're ghetto.
113) If you are a male with finger waves, you're ghetto.
114) If your home page starts with "What's up, fools," you're ghetto.
115) If you think it takes talent to rap like Missy Elliot, you're an idiot!
116) If anyone you know has ever been on a Greyhound bus, you're ghetto.
117) If you think Wu-Tang is a kung-fu movie, you're ghetto.
118.) If you have to take off the top of your toilet to flush, you're ghetto.
119) If you can't wait 'til it's summer time so you can turn on the fire hydrant, you're ghetto.
120) If you go to family reunions and see over 10 people you've never met, you're ghetto.
121) If you know how to nigga-rig arcade machines to get extra credits, you're ghetto.
122) If "nigga-rig" is in your vocabulary, you're ghetto.
123) If your college professor raps, you're ghetto.
124) If you live in a house with a drive way, but have no car, you're ghetto.
125) If you are fat and where jerseys, you're ghetto.
126) If you've ever eaten chitterlings, you ghetto.
127) If you didn't know chitterlings wasn't actually pronounced: chitlins, you ghetto.
128.) If you are fat and where spandex biker shorts so your thighs look like a bag of marbles, you're ghetto.
129) If your Tommy Hil shirt has a Hanes tag in the collar, you're ghetto.
130) If you wear "Damaged" or "Used" brand jeans, you're ghetto.
131) If you have a couch or sofa on your porch, you're ghetto.
132) If you have house speakers anywhere in your car, you're ghetto.
133) If your home address ends with "1/2," you're ghetto.
134) If you wash any body parts (including hair) in the kitchen sink, you're ghetto.
135) If you turn up the air when you start to stink instead of taking a shower, you're ghetto.
136) If you watch BET's Comic View and laugh at the jokes, you're ghetto.
137) If all of your friends are ghetto, you're ghetto.
138.) If your guests won't even sit on your toilet, you're nasty.
139) If you and your cousin had 1 pair of skates and you each wore one shoe, you're ghetto.
140) If you smoke weed because cigarettes are bad for your health, you're ghetto.
141) If you have a "going away" block party, you're ghetto.
142) If you have no problem wearing those caps with foam in the front and plastic mesh in the back, you're ghetto.
143) If you still wear Cross Colors brand clothes and Malcom "X" caps, you're ghetto.
144) If your pets eat Doritos, you're ghetto.
145) If you ever thought the hip-hop group "Run DMC" was actually "Ron the MC," you're ghetto.
146) If your uncle taught you how to roll blunts, you're ghetto.
147) If you've ever worn a "Where's the Beef" shirt, you're ghetto.
148.) If you use supermarket bags as trash bags, you're ghetto.
149) If your grandmother is you sole source of legal income, you're ghetto.
150) If your favorite shirt implies that you are 'bout it 'bout it, you're ghetto.
151) If you work at a fast food restaurant and are over 30 years old, you're ghetto.
152) If you wear short sleeve shirts that go down your mid-forearm, you're ghetto.
153) If you wear long sleeve shirts that come up to your mid-forearm, you're ghetto.
154) If your speakers cost more than your car, you're ghetto.
155) If you've ever called the psychic line, you're ghetto.
156) If you have bootleg jerseys with the wrong team colors, you're ghetto.
157) If you name your kids after cars you can't afford (for example: Mercedes, Porsha, etc.), you're ghetto.
158.) If you sharpen pencils with knives or scissors, you're ghetto.
159) If you think the plural of the word "knives" is spelled "nifes," you're ghetto.
160) If your cheese just won't melt, then you're ghetto.
161) If your idea of fun is sitting on your porch and watching cars go by, you're ghetto.
162) If your appliances have to be hit 3 times in a certain rhythmic fashion to work, you're ghetto.
163) If you save up the small pieces of soap to make a big one, you're really ghetto.
164) If your dog has never seen outside, then you're ghetto.
165) If your car payment is more than your house payment, you're ghetto.
166) If you know how to make bootleg liquor, you're ghetto.
167) If your floor sqeaks when you walk, you're ghetto.
168.) If you can roll blunts with your eyes closed, you're ghetto.
169) If your closet has a single "Member's Only" jacket, you're ghetto.
170) If you roll up the toothpaste tube, knowing there is not a full brush's worth of paste left, you're ghetto.
171) If your cousin is retarded, but no one will admit it, you're ghetto.
172) If you don't have time to brush your hair because you're you put a cap on, that's normal. But if use your hands to pick out naps, mash down on your head and try to "mold your fro," you're ghetto.
173) If you don't have time to brush your teeth because you're late, and decide to lick the film of dirt off your teeth, you're ghetto.
174) If you know people that say they smoke crack to lose weight because "diets ain't healthy," you're ghetto.
175) If you think foreign affairs are Bill Clinton's ho's abroad, you're ghetto.
176) If your only knowledge of Shakespeare comes from Mac Mall's Hamlet, you're ghetto.
177) If you call your city "town" without it being the real name (Oak-town, Comp-town, H-town, Chi-Town and/or Ill-town), you're ghetto.
178.) If you drink soft-drinks out brown-bags to look cool, you're ghetto.
179) If you watch movies because of the soundtrack, you're ghetto.
180) If you wear baggy pants down by the knees and don't have boxers on, you'll get arrested.
181) If you saw the movie Booty Call, you're ghetto.
182) If you're idea of a restaurant is MAC Donald's, you're ghetto.
183) If you still think Hammer will make a come-back, wake up.
184) If you put on car-chase music everytime the police pull up behind your car, you're ghetto.
185) If you're afraid your grandma might smack you, you're ghetto.
186) If you start human-beat-boxing to songs on the radio, you're ghetto.
187) If you call Puff's remakes "the good version", you're a retard.
188.) If your boxspring has piss stains on it (on BOTH SIDES), you're ghetto.
189) If you put a safety pin in your glasses, you're ghetto.
190) If you have a "knock hard" sign on your door because you or your bebe kid brothers and sisters broke the doorbell, you're ghetto.
191) If you have a "knock hard" sign on your door so your babydaddy won't catch you with his best friend, you triflin.'
192) If you have tape on your phone cord(because it keeps comin out), you're ghetto.
193) If you buy expensive, name brand clothes that have "Hanes" on the inside collar, you're ghetto.
194) If you've ever played "that's my car" or "kick the can," you're geniuniely ghetto.
195) If you've ever borrowed ice, you're ghetto.
196) If you eat pork & beans cold, you're ghetto.
197) If you use plastic, carboard, or a quilt as window replacement, you're ghetto.
198.) If you've ever used stair rails or bushes as clothelines, you're ghetto.
199) If you've ever gotten in trouble in school and was told to write 500 sentences saying "I will not disrupt class anymore" and you write 500 "I"s, then 500 "will"s, then 500 "not"s, etc. you're ghetto.
200) If your hair is black, and your weave is red, you're ghetto.
201) If you use a black marker to color in the scuffs on your shoes, you're ghetto.
202) If you can recite a whole rap album, you're ghetto.
203) If you walk in the middle of street and look at cars like they're in the wrong place, you're ghetto.
204) If you bike has one pedal, you're ghetto.
205) If your block has alot of fences with "Beware of Dog" signs, but the fences are chewed open, you're ghetto.
206) If you got one television sitting on top of another one and the bottom one doesn't work, you're ghetto.
207) If you go through the drive-thru and you have to open the car door because the window doesn't roll down, you need a new car.
208.) If you're walking down the street talking on a car phone, you're ghetto.
209) If you watch Jerry Springer and you know everybody on the show, you're ghetto.
210) If you have to bring a radio in your car because it doesn't have one, you're ghetto.
211) If eating fish on Friday is one of your family traditions, you're ghetto.
212) If you have ever ironed your hair with a real iron, you're ghetto.
213) If you call your slippers "house shoes", you're ghetto.
214) If you wear your house shoes to the store, you're ghetto.
215) If you get high and talk to inanimate objects like close friends, get in rehab.
216) If you think you're above everyone in rehab, even though your sorry-ass got ordered by the court to go there, you're ghetto.
217) If you didn't know that French Fries could be eaten with a fork, you're ghetto.
218.) If you didn't know spaghetti could be eaten with a fork, you have bad tablemanners.
219) If your Puerta Rican and still can't pass your Spanish classes, you're ghetto.
220) If someone rings the doorbell and you yell "who is it?!" real loud, instead of opening the door, you're ghetto.
221) If you sell crack, but refuse to bootleg movies from Blockbuster(cause you heard they put lil' tracking devices in the tapes), you ghetto.
222) If you say "bout it, bout it" in church, instead of Amen, you just a white kid who think you is ghetto.
223) If you REUSE mouthwash, you're ghetto.
224) If you're chewing gum when you go into a restaurant, keep the gum on your plate while you eat, then chew the same piece after you're done with your meal, you're ghetto.
225) If every single picture of you in the family album features you and/or members of your family, flipping "the bird", you're ghetto.
226) If you make grilled cheese "sammiches" with Eazy Cheez aerosol spread, you're ghetto.
227) If you have a cordless phone, but tie it to the stand so you don't lose it, you're ghetto.
228.) If your shoe laces don't match colors, you're ghetto.
229) If your SHOES don't match colors, you're ghetto.
230) If your watch is made by "Gess", "Tymex", and/or only has one hand, you're ghetto.
231) If you hate the "KLU" Klux Klan or "Jeffro" Clampett, you're ghetto.
232) If you continue to wear socks or underwear that have more holes than cloth left, you're ghetto.
233) If you rooted for Darth Vader to win cause he's Black, you're most definitely ghetto.
234) If you say "word, word" in your sleep, you ghetto.
235) If you call your lover "mommy" or "daddy," you're ghetto (and probably need to get some counseling).
236) If you go to the record store broke, see a CD you want, and then hide it in the country rock section so you can get it later, you're ghetto.
237) If you tell your girl you can't take her to see Wu-Tang, but her momma saw you there, ALL THREE of y'all are ghetto.
238.) If they played "Ha" at your graduation, you're ghetto ha!
239) If you poured out liquor on the ground when you heard Master P was retiring, you're ghetto.
240) If your mom has more tatooes than you, you're ghetto.
241) If you spend more than 5 hours a day on your porch, you're ghetto.
242) If you spend more than 10 hours a day on your porch, you need to get a damn job.
243) If TLC or Sporty Thievz were "talking to you," you're ghetto...and probably a bum.
244) If you have bootleg cable on a big screen TV, you're ghetto.
245) If Trick Daddy is your mouth piece, you're ghetto.
246) If you saved all your childhood scabs in a jar, you're sick.
247) If your jeans are so long you could use the cuffs for slippers, you're ghetto.
248.) If the reason someone is your favorite rapper is "cause they're just bout it," you're ghetto.
249) If you're waiting for House Party 4, wake up.
250) If you sit in the theatre until all of the credits have finished rolling, just so you can get all your money's worth and you tell your girl "I paid twelve damn dollars...we ain't leavin' til they throw us out this bitch," you're ghetto
251) If the batteries in your remote control are held in place with a piece of tape, you're ghetto.
252) If you run to get pots as soon as it rains, you're ghetto.
253) If you refer to the refrigerator as an icebox, you're ghetto.
254) If you have more than ten uses for vaseline, and one of them is shoe polish, you're ghetto.
255) If you don't think you're clean unless there is visible baby powder on your neck and chest, you're ghetto.
256) If you use black eyeliner to line your lips, you're ghetto.
257) If you wear your shower cap everywhere but in the shower, you're ghetto.
258.) If you clean your teeth with a match book or a business card, you're ghetto.
259) If you clean your ears with a bobbypin, key, or ink pen cap, you're ghetto.
260) If you wear your clothes with a tag on them, you're ghetto.
261) If the only art you own is on your finger nails, you're ghetto.
262) If you've ever waited several hours in a salon to get your hair done and you had an appointment, you're ghetto.
263) If you have to put a towel on your furniture so that your curl activator won't stain it, you're ghetto.
264) If you think straight hair is 'good hair', you're ghetto.
265) If your baby has a bow or barrette on her one strand of hair, you're ghetto.
266) If you never learned to swim because you couldn't get your hair wet, you're ghetto.
267) If your child thinks his real name is 'little man', you're ghetto.
268.) If you have trouble spelling your children's names,, you're ghetto.
269) If you page yourself, you're ghetto.
270) If you're renowned for rolling any of the following: If your neck,If your eyes,If your r's,Or your wrist, you're ghetto.
271) If you've ever referred to the wind as the hawk, then you're ghetto.
272) If you add 'ed' or 't' to the end of a word that's already in the past tense (ex: Tooked, Light-skinneded, killedt, ruint), you're ghetto.
273) If you've referred to anything as one of the following: Do-Hickey, Thing-a-ma-bob, whoseywhats, or whatchamacallit, then you're ghetto.
274) If you mis-pronounce words such as:
ambulance = ambalamps
shrimp = skrimp or strimps
specific = pacific
street = skreet
ask = axe
remember = memba (ex: Y'all memba the time?)
sink = zank
that sure is = showl'iz
them = Nem (ex: I can't wait 'til James and nem get here)

275) If you put finger nail polish on pantyhose to keep a run from getting worse, you're ghetto.
276) The best pair of shoes you own are sneakers, you're ghetto.
277) If you wear colored contacts, you're ghetto.
278.) If you wear a watch that you know doesn't work, you're ghetto.
279) If you think of fatback as a source of nutrition, you're ghetto. (Note: There is no such thing as low-fat fatback).
280) If you're always eating at other people's houses, but you never bring anything, you're ghetto.
281) If you eat cough-drops like they're candy, you're ghetto.
282) If you pop or crack your gum, you're ghetto.
283) If the rear window of your car is filled with stuffed animals, you're ghetto.
284) If you have a crack across your front windshield and you never bother to get it fixed, you're ghetto.
285) If you can learn the latest dances from your church choir, you're ghetto.
286) If the offering plate at your church goes around five times, you're ghetto.
287) If either the bride or groom sings a solo to each other, or both, you're ghetto.
288.) If nobody in the wedding can really fit in her dress including the bride, you're ghetto.
289) If there are more guests at the reception than there were at the wedding, you're ghetto.
290) If there are more people in the wedding than there are in the audience, you're ghetto.
291) If everybody's exes were invited, because they're all remarried to somebody else in the family, you're ghetto.
292) If your wedding dress is also a maternity dress, you're ghetto.
293) If someone tries to climb in the coffin at your funeral, you're ghetto.
294) If more than one person thinks that they are the current spouse of the deceased, you're ghetto.
295) If the majority of the flowers at the burial site are plastic and/or are taken back the following day, you're ghetto.
296) If no one knew the deceased by his real name ("Who's Ravon Williams III, I thought his name was Bookie"), you're ghetto.
297) If most of the mourners comment that the deceased didn't look that good when they were alive, you're ghetto.
298.) If you go out to a nightclub, but you stay outside or infront of the club, you're ghetto.
299) If you ever took a bus to the club, you're ghetto.
300) If you ask perfect strangers to take a picture with you, then you tell all of your friends that this is someone you actually dated, you're ghetto.

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