How to Pass a Marijuana Drug Test (Urine Analysis)
So, you just landed the job of your dreams after being out of work for a while, but suddenly realize that the employer that you are about to work for, requires a drug test. Rather than getting nauseous, short of breath, and beating yourself up about the joint you smoked last night while listening to the Grateful Dead, we have some proven methods you can use that will give you the best possible chance of passing the THC urine analysis test with flying “yellow” colors.
Disclaimer: This information is for pre-employment urine tests only. Not hair, blood or saliva tests, and not law enforcement related tests where they may watch you provide the specimen. . (Coke, heroin, and meth addicts need not apply)
Method 1: (Natural Detox) It’s a good rule of “green thumb” to know that marijuana stays in your system the longest out of the drugs that are usually tested, so it’s always best to abstain from marijuana COMPLETELY, for at least 3 months if you really want the job, and know that the employer has a zero tolerance for medical marijuana use. For those that don’t have the time to detox in this fashion and are not morbidly obese, allow for 1-3 days for a single use (small bowl or 2 with friends one night, NOT an all-night smoke-athon with Snoop Dog) For regular users allow 15-30 days for detox, and for chronic users 1-2 months.
Method 2: (Dilution) Exercising and drinking a solution of liquids is one way to accelerate the detox process. Going for a walk or run once a day before the test will considerably help you to get clean faster, by burning off the fat cells where THC metabolites are stored. About 4 hours before the test is to take place, drink 3-4 glasses of Gatorade or Cranberry Juice(1 bottle= 16 oz) and 1 or 2 glasses of water (16 oz = 1 glass). A solution of 35% water and 65% Gatorade or cranberry juice works best. Taking 50-100 milligrams of B-2 vitamins can assist in keeping your urine yellow, which should be done cautiously as having urine that is too yellow, will tip off the test administrator to suspicion and result in a possible re-test.
(Caution: remember that the first and last ends of your urine stream release the most toxins so collect your urine sample in the middle of your urine stream)
Method 3: (Rapid Detox Drinks) Detox drinks or supplements work by rapidly flushing drug metabolites and toxins from your system. Usually consisting of a solution of herbs, b-vitamins, and creatine these supplements can be bought online or in stores. These drinks or supplements can take anywhere from 24-48 hours and should be used cautiously.
Method 4: (Synthetics/Substitution) For this method you’ll be smuggling in a small container of a friend or associates confirmed “clean urine” or a synthetic liquid which you will empty into the cup in place of your actual urine. Synthetic products can be purchased over the counter or through a website that can test as urine. The synthetic tests rarely fail, and only cause problems if concealment is an issue. Many come in powders, some are pre-mixed, while others actually come with fake penises to really go that extra mile. Regardless of the method they use they all pretty much work the same.
(Caution: most testing locations have temperature indicators on the sides of the cup which note the temperature of the sample when you give it to the administrator. The human body keeps urine at a temperature of about 98 degrees Fahrenheit. Too low or too high, and you’re in trouble. Fortunately, both tasks are handled by simply securing the container to your leg, preferably under your scrotum, if you’re a man or under your breast if you are a woman.)