Shattered into a Million bits!

Dear Governor Schnitzel,

Would you like to never walk again? I think absolutely not! I strongly believe that you and All the kings horses and all the kings men must compensate me for my horrible fall. The men gave up after 15 minutes with mouth to mouth without even taking me to a hospital! How negligent! I paid thousands to the plastic surgery clinic to fix my body and I’m still in a million bits. But most importantly,I can’t exercise...the one important thing the egg body needs. I order you and the kings men to compensate me for the accident...or I’ll be having to the wicked witch!

To begin with, they gave up after 15 minutes. 15 minutes with the kings men doing stupid things like mouth to mouth, CPR & gluing my shell together.Get this, instead of wasting 15 precious minutes on irrelevant things, put me in the horse carriage and get me to a hospital! They shouldn’t put a eggs life in danger! They get it together and do there stupid job!

Secondly, I paid a lot of money for plastic surgery. The kings men pay for it? No they just did nothing. How rude! They gave up after 15 minutes, so they should pay the money. I was in excruciating pain and I paid almost one million dollars to plastic surgery for nothing. Not only that but I missed my race in the 1988 Olympics! I have trained all my egg life for the 1988 Olympics,but because of those cruel men, I missed my one and only race. I have been sad all my life because of you and your men!

Finally, I can’t even exercise! This is highly important, because eggs needs exercise to make the youk tasty. Oh right, I don’t have a youk. Because of this I have put on a lot of weight. Not only am I still in a million bits, but I am very overweight! Just think, I could be running in the green grass, feeling the wind through my shell...but instead I am a fat egg in a million bits sitting on my couch. This all because you and your men in 1686.

In conclusion, you have to pay for me. I have been sad for around 460 years now and you still haven’t paid! Everyone thinks the kings men tried, but they don’t what happened behind the scenes. They think you and the men are nice, but you and your men are evil. But I said, If you don’t pay I will be talking to the wicked witch or the giant! It’s your choice.


Humpty Dumpty

Comment Stream