Riots Not Diets

How women can conquer the world in one easy step.

My friend and phenomenal playwright, Lauren Ferebee, recently shared a link to website selling good old fashioned feminist t-shirts. "Feminism is for Everybody," "Live Feminist Die Fabulous" that sort of thing. These days, you're more likely to find me in a wrap dress than a slogany t-shirt, but the sentiments still resonate.

"Riots Not Diets" hit a particular chord for me. I'm getting married in 4 months, and everyone from my mother to my Facebook feed and every.single.online.advertiser seems to be concerned with my ability to "look my best" (read: widdle your middle you disgusting flabby bitch). It got me thinking:

I'm fairly certain if women took all of the energy they spend trying to be and look thin, we'd run the world.

The control, physical strain, and simple mental bandwidth women commit to the task of being thin is absolutely monumental. I don't mean this as a bad thing...this is a gift! Tired, over-worked, stressed women of the world- you have a giant source of power you have yet to tap into! All the fucking energy you spend worrying about your weight is there ready to be channeled into things that bring you:

1) Joy

2) Freedom

3) Power

Instead of doing two-a-days at the gym and eating juiced kale until my wedding day, I'll be continuing my regular gym routine (3 days a week ain't to shabby!) and eating what makes me feel good. If I added up all the time I've spent:

1) Telling myself I "shouldn't have that"

2) Fretting over whether or not I can get into *those* jeans

3) Reading about, talking to friends about, and paying for diets

I would already have an exit, a lake house, and a lot of cashmere sweaters. Ladies, Let's move on, and let's move on up.