How Honest Should You Be On The First Date?

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Often people ask me just how much they should reveal on the first date. Unfortunately complete honesty is not always the best policy when you’re meeting someone for the first time. This certainly doesn’t mean you need to lie or make up a whole new you. It is important that you are comfortable in your own skin and with who you are. When attending the first date you want to remain intact and leave some room for the imagination. Without realising it, many people are way too forthcoming on a first date. You may not realise that you are embarrassing the person on the other side of the table. It’s a sad fact that often we are nicer to other people than we are to ourselves—at least in our own minds. Unless we practice keeping it in check, a disparaging inner dialogue can eat away at our self-esteem until we feel like less than nothing. But when we verbalize the awful things we think about ourselves to our significant other, that person and the relationship suffer.

There is a famous saying that says, if you don't owe anything, you don't have to fear anything. Telling lies will create the a constant fear of your date finding out the truth and will not let you be in peace, unless you are a player, if you are trying to be dishonest with good intentions behind, you are better off doing the opposite. No one likes a poser. Besides, making things up always comes back to bite you. Get comfortable in your own skin. You are an interesting person with lots to talk about! Answer questions honestly. Try to be relaxed. If you and your date are compatible, he will appreciate how fascinating you are.

Why should you stay real? No matter what is your walk of life or gender, everyone is afraid to be rejected, but there is nothing wrong with receiving rejection, what is wrong is to take such rejection in a negative way instead of improving ourselves or disagreeing with the reasons for that rejection. First of all, we encourage you to do the internal work necessary to make peace with your past. If you feel guilt or shame because of your former behaviour, create some completions. Either way, everything we do in life is a risk, don't let the fear of one rejection change that you are or even worse, push you to create a hype that is not there. If he/she is interested in you enough to schedule a first date, then you have better chances of retention if you are for real. When you decide that you really like this person and that you could see yourself with him or her in a committed relationship, it's time to decide to share some of those potentially tricky things about your past.

Honest communication needs to be an exchange. Allow your partner some control over how much he or she has to hear, if this is wanted at all. Some people want to leave the past in the past. Others feel the need to know as much as possible about what the love of their life was like in years gone by. Keep returning to why you are opening up about this. Make it clear to your mate that you are sharing this possibly uncomfortable information about your past because he or she is so important to you. Let your partner know that creating a healthy and trusting relationship is a priority for you and, for this reason; you'd like to talk about some things from your past. The intention behind sharing about your past with your partner is promote closeness in your relationship. Remember this and use it as your guide.

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3 years ago