The Wallflower

welcome to my life

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Why is it that our biggest insecurities can come off as our most attractive qualities? Like take me for example. Anyone who has met me knows I'm extremely awkward. But then there are guys that find it cute? How? I can't even ask a cashier to break a five dollar bill that's how incredibly awkward I am. But no, guys think it's adorable. It's just weird...

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Isn't it weird how somethings come out of nowhere and surprise you? Like my friend decided a while ago she wanted to set my up with her guy friend. And  this guy is like really attractive. I didn't really think a lot out of it. But now the guy seems to intrigue me. I don't know why or how. I've only texted him a few times. I don't know if I like him seeing how I haven't actually met him in person but there is just something about him (besides him being really attractive) that makes me want to meet him.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Yeah I kinda forgot I had a blog for a while. My bad. Do people still believe that people can't change? I think that's stupid. I don't think people can willingly change. I think they adapt to situations around them. Whether they adapt in a good way or a bad way is controlled by the situation. Not by the person. Like how people who have been lied to or abused don't trust people. You can't really expect people to trust everyone after that. I can't trust people anymore. I've got my close circle. But outside of that, I don't think I can afford to trust anyone. That's what situations have done to me. And I don't think I can change back into who I was.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

I think what I'm afraid of most is getting hurt. I think I'm afraid that one day I'm gong to get hurt past the point where I start hurting other people before they hurt me. I don't want to do that. No one deserves that. I just hope that's not what I become.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Trying new things can be scary. But without trying how would we know what we like? It could be as simple as a new hairstyle or new wardrobe decisions. You should never change who you truly are though. Trying something new doesn't mean putting on a whole new personality. I tried that once and it just led to a lot of pain. I'm done putting a mask over my real face. If the world wants to meet me, here I am.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

I guess I have some snow or winter gods watching over me. Third day of school in a row cancelled tomorrow. I have at least one more day to prepare to face my demons. I don't know how I'm going to do it. But I can't run and hide in the dark forever. One day I'm going to have to stand up and face them . No more running. No more shadows or lies or excuses. It's time for me to face my demons and come to peace with them.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

I've never had a problem with not having school. I mean c'mon, an extra two days of no school, who wouldn't want that? I don't want to go back. There are demons I'll have to face when I get there and I don't know if I'm ready. The ex I have to get final closure with, the almost boyfriend who might not become a boyfriend, the friends I blew off for trying to control my life. There's a lot I have to face when I got back and I don't think I want to yet.

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