Behind the FAT
365 is a pretty big number. 365 is how many days are in a common year. 365 could be how many days left until you go on a family vacation, or how many miles it takes to get to grandmas house. Well to me 365 is the amount of pounds I carry with me daily. I'm overweight, obese, fat, whatever you want to call it. I'm the woman in the grocery story worried about what people see in my shopping cart no matter how many fruits and veggies are in there. If you can think of a repulsive word to call me I'm sure I've heard it under someones breath or even yelled to me from a pickup truck filled with teenage boys. I get it. I get that I'm not the picture of health or anything that Hollywood would find attractive. I live with knowing how much I weight by looking in the mirror, when my cloths fit weird, and of course when I step on the scale. I'm FAT!
I would like to start out by saying thank you to all the Captain Obvious' out there. Like I am too stupid to know that I am overweight. Like I don't have any sense of self-awareness at all. You don't have to accept me as a human, but you also don't need to be verbal about what everyone can plainly see. Freedom of speech is something that may be free for you but it's a debit that I have to pay with my own tears.
I can't seem to go anywhere to to escape the verbal and nonverbal side effects of my weight. Not once does it seem like people stop to wonder how much weight I may have lost to this current point. Or what trials have lead me to partaking in food as a sort of release.
Here are a few of my life struggles that I've had to overcome/working on:
- Sexual abuse
- Domestic violence
- Polycystic ovarian syndrome
My request is that people start thinking a little deeper when they see someone who struggles with their weight. Everyone has at least one thing they are self-conscious about, it's just easier to physically see that one thing in overweight people. Don't give me a pity party, just treat me as a human who has feelings underneath all my FAT rolls!
-Just Me, Devonne