The French Trench Paralice
A louse's "paradice" vacation
Are you lice sick of searching and searching for places to live and feed? Are you tired of finally finding a host only to be washed away by chemicals? well then keep reading! Introducing Frances newest product, trenches! Come on down to France where you can enjoy new cozy abodes filled will dirty water, disease, rats, waste and best of all new hairy homes!
For some reason these humans started to flood the trenches after digging them so there is enough for everybody! If you feel sorry for being an annoyance to the humans, don't. Sure we might give them a few itches and rashes and maybe even a few diseases but none of that is actually lethal so don't feel like you are harming them.
Remember, the worst life for a louse here and France would be the same as the best life you have in whatever trenchless country you live in now. I bet you don't have things like trench fever where you live do you? Trench fever works great for us lice, because it causes pains in the shins and you get free heating in your home because trench fever is equipped with high fevers so that chilly French weather cant bring us down! Trench fever also makes our hosts feel so sick they don't have enough energy to fight off our rashes and pains!
You better hurry fast because the humans are finding ways to get rid of us such as burning us and trying to wash us out with filthy water, so always lay your eggs in their clothes so that the lice legacy will live on!
We lice have to stick together so if you are smart enough to jump on this opportunity remember to bring your friends, family and anyone you can scrap off the scalp of a human and come fill the homes of the trenches in France.