A match made in heaven...So we thought...
By:Parker Deaton

Yo, my name is Parker Deaton, its almost 2am and Ive been informed I need to conduct a report on my recent trip to the West Indies. If you must know I am a super top secret zoologist contractor whom has been hired by The Department of Nature and Island Resources. For your information, I was on vacation sipping Mai Tais with my less cool servant Will Lopez, who has not contributed anything to this recollection of events, which is strictly nonfiction. So fasten your seat-belts kids because you're in for something awesome.

As I was saying, I'm sitting by the pool vibing out to Lil B the based god getting a foot rub from one of the West Indie's finest when a huge tsunami hits a nearby island, Nevis. "Omg what is going on?!" I exclaim, "Bruh I don't even know, yo you need a refill?" My butler Will asks.  About that time I get a call straight from the top of the Department of Nature thingy. "Mr.Deaton, we call upon you to help us out in the name of your Ap Earth Science grade. We have seen a terrible decline in rodents on the island of Kitts, do you think you could help us out?" And I was all like, "Yea I guess so. Aye Will top me off for the road I have to go save a species."

So naturally I hop in my private helicopter, The butler Will has Lil B playin, and I'm on the way to save a species, because ya know, girls love guys who save stuff. I then met with the director of the Department. He proceeds by briefing me on the situation, apparently the population of rodents on the island of Kitts, Rodentallia as they are called, has been small for quite sometime; however, it is paramount that we save the Rodentallia before they go extinct, for we have seen a lull in new borns this year.

I am then like omg there is an island near by called Nevis. They have a similar animal so naturally I had the idea that they should repopulate the island and save the species. The butler Will and the head of the department proceed by exclaiming, "Thank you based god!" as they are so happy of my plan. Next I pack up those little critters and from Nevis and head back to the island of Kitts.

A couple months went by with careful examination and they never had any babies, so we were all really sad.

Nevis Rodent

Average weight: 83g

Average weight: 86g

Average length: 21.8cm

Average length: 23.3cm

Average hind limb: 7.8cm

Average hind limb: 4.2cm

Average forelimb: 4.2cm

Average forelimb: 3.9cm

Top speed: 2.2 meters/second (m/s)

Top speed: 0.8m/s

Average leap height: 1.4m

Average leap height: 0.4m

Average gestation time: 29.3 days

Average gestation time: 42.7 days

Average time spent in courtship display: 12.6 seconds

Average time spent in courtship display: 21.3 seconds

Which got me thinking there must have been a point where there was a differential in species, the tsunami! This natural disaster implemented the bottleneck effect which killed off all of the Rodentallia on the Nevis island, and left us with a similar, but different rodent. As the other species were left to repopulate it eradicated the Rodentallia genes from Nevias, leaving the other species time to repopulate with themselves, thus making it impossible to reproduce with the Rodentallia. Then all of a sudden Lil B the based god descended from heaven to the island of Kitts and releases thousands of Rodentillia and allows them to repopulate. "Yo thanks based god!" I say, and then he started to mumble incoherent english like his raps. But that was cool with me cause we bumped knuckles as he grabbed my hand and we ascended back to heaven.

Comment Stream