My Agents of Socialization
My family has has helped to shape my social skills in many ways. Ever since my broters and I were very young, my father has always taught us to speak for ourselves and make eye contact with whom we are speaking to. My father also played football at The Ohio State University, so you can guess that we were expected to work our hardest and strive to excel at everything we do or close to it. This plays a huge roll for me at work because I am greatly admired for my hard work. I am thankful to have grown up in an environment where hard work ethic was not an option. Another social skill that is highly valued in my family is respect. Respecting those who respect you, and most importantly those who don't respect you is essential. This way of thinking also leads to the social skill of confidence. Like I had said before, my brothers and I were always taught to say what we were thinking, say what's on our mind and not be afraid to because of someone who's around or what others would think about our opinions. "Never apologize for being yourself" is something that my father still continues to preach to us as an important social skill to follow for as long as we live; this is a saying that my granddad still tells my father frequently.
Peer groups have contributed the most to teaching me about relationships. Being in peer groups with friends has taught me to think less about myself and more about the feelings and wants or needs of others. An example would be in the 4 by 4 relay race for track. I remember in the middle of the outdoor season I was 1st string and had just ran a 200 meter race. I was exsausted and crazy nervous because the last relay race I got my team disqualified for switching the baton between hands. I was ready to fall over by the 200 meter mark. I turned the corner and three of my friends were standing in the grass right beside me as I ran past, screaming in my face to push harder, I pasted three more girls I was running past. I could not give up on my team for the pain I was only going to feel for that minute. Thinking just of myself was not an option. At other times, it was though, and I have learned, in some relationships, to think more about myself, and less about others feelings. A prime example would be my past relationship. I previous had been so caught up in making sure they were always happy, when I began to realize they were not putting that same effort towards making sure I'm happy. Separating myself from them looked selfish in many eyes but, I had to think of myself for once, I had to put me first. These different situations with people have taught me to balance my efforts in relationships with certain people. That, I believe is extremely important to understand in life.
Many social skills that I have learned throughout school are important to know in help towards life outside of school later in life. One social skill that I am thankful to have understood from school is self-worth. This skill was not necessarily taught to me directly from a teacher, but from my observation. I have been able to watch my peers as they spend so much more of their time trying to please than themselves. Soon, they begin to realize why they're not happy or why that person is not treating them in the same ways. This has taught me to not give your all into everyone.. not everyone is on your side and worth your time or money. Not everyone is sought out to be your friend, this is true to remember throughout life. Behavior in school was a lesson I went the hard way to learn. At my old school, when you got in trouble, there were no write-ups or just a 20-minute lunch detention. You were sent to the office, no one asked you any questions- you were automatically given 3 paddles on the butt with a wooden paddle. In addition to this, they would call your parents and you had write out 100 times that you would not repeat your poor decision. The social skill that was set in place for me to learn was respect for my teachers, peers, and school building.
Media has socialized me in many ways; the first through social media. On instagram I have been able to connect with several childhood friends that may have moved out of state or even just from the city. For example, my friends Daja and Briele. My friend Daja currently goes to a different school but was my best friend for several years of my life. When we switched to different schools other than our church, we had lost connection for a long time. But, I have recently found her on instagram through a mutual friend of ours and we've planned to meet up soon! Briele on the other hand, actually goes to Gahanna but is a grade above me. I attended Gahanna for an entire year without knowing that she went here. We connected on social media and quickly figured that out! We still hangout and are still good friends.