Chris Toth's Birthday Blueprint
Cheers to you, good sir.
This is your step-by-step birthday plan since I cannot join you for a brew-ski today.
Step 1: Grab a glass, raise it up, gaze thru it's beauty
Step 2: Fill glass with some crazy Texas beer
Might I suggest a fresh Rodeo Clown or Hoppadillo? Perhaps you've got something else I haven't seen down there like Roger Clemens Testoster-ale or Nolan Ryan Hefeweizen (boy that just rolls off the tounge).
Step 3: Drink until you dance like a fool
Step 4: Eat something
You're gonna need some food at this point, chief. You better soak up that drink. In fact, speaking of Nolan Ryan... might I suggest some of his delicious beef? Perhaps you'd enjoy a nice big burger made from Nolan Ryan's Texas Beef. Or maybe you're more of a wiener guy... Doesn't a wiener made from Nolan Ryan's beef sound delish about now?
Step 5: Continue drinking
See Step 2. Although, I suggest stepping your game up to some hard liquor this time. Because you're not quite drunk enough for Taco Cabana yet. And look how delicious these tacos look:
Step 6: Pass out
Congratulations. You've had yourself one hell of a birthday bash. Get a good night of sleep because tomorrow's going to be filled with guzzling water, recovering, and hearing stories about how embarassing you were the night before.