Morgan Freeman
&
Mother Nature

12 facts about Morgan Freeman

I

Mogan Freeman cannot be cloned
-that would require unicorn tears

II

Morgan Freeman was born in 1937
-he narrated his own birth

III

The only reason that the sun rises
each day is because Morgan Freeman narrated that sunrise
-the night before

IV

Morgan Freeman narrates his own life:
leaving the warm comfort of his mother's womb he stated:
-"I, Morgan Freeman, enter the world"

V

The first time that Morgan Freeman saw himself crying in the mirror,
he became old
-he remained that way his whole life

VI

The only reason you're alive right now is because Morgan Freeman is narrating your life
-as he does for billions and billions of others, each day

VII

Every-time Morgan Freeman cries
-it rains in Heaven

VIII

When you have a bout of diaherrea, Morgan Freeman narrates it
so that you appear noble
-at the mercy of nature and a taco

IX

Morgan Freeman doesn't have sex
-when he smiles, a baby simply appears in a field full of kittens

X

Earthquakes are merly mother
nature having an orgasam when she
listens to march of the penguins
-penguins didn't exist until Morgan Freeman made that movie
-he's that good

XI

Morgan Freeman goes through 4 or 5 microphones a day, becaue his
voice turns them into bars of gold
-which he uses to fund his quest to create a real Santa Claus

XII

If you're having a rough day, simply think about Morgan Freeman
-because he's certainly thinking about you

Morgan Freeman, Morgan Freeman, Morgan Freeman, Morgan Freeman, Morgan Freeman, Morgan Freeman,
-Morgan Freeman