This is my Letter for YOU

It is Sunday. You suddenly ignore me. I have no idea. But I felt there's something wrong. I still tried to reached you. But still no response. It is like I am punching the air and waiting it to punch me back. Maybe it's my shenanigans that made you slowly slide down into dereliction. The discernment of not having you around is suffocating. I am trying to approach the situation in a pragmatic way (very you). Based from practical and reality and not from my emotions and theory.

I wish I know you more. I wish you discover me more than what I have shown you.  I wish I could turn back time and meet you again for the first time in a right moment. And I really wish it were that simple. As the moon stares at me, it makes me sad and wonder. I hope sometimes you wonder about me. I think of you all the time. Silly isn't it? Thinking about how many slices of pizza did you ate, how many times did you did the poker face.

I read from somewhere that the thing you want most, is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken. It wears us out. But as tough as wanting something can be,the people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want. And I am in turmoil. Maybe the best thing to do is to become leery and not to believe in my wicked sources.  

It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something but we have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we’re willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we belong. And in due time, i'll forget everything about you. How you made me nervous every time we have the conversation. I will forget the 2 am messaging and that magical feeling when I heard for the first time from your lips the L word. That unexpected moment when you said to me "You mean a lot to me". And I will forget how much the moon reminds me of you. But I won't forget my promise that I will find you in 100 worlds and in 100 lifetime to love you again..