Trenches of France: a parasites paradise
There ain't no Trenches like the French Trenches
Fellow parasites and bugs if you are reading this a great offer is among you! The hottest vacation spot for any louse or beetle or fly is in the trenches of France. World war I is upon us and the trenches are crawling with opulent humans and luxurious filth to feast upon. Human hosts are so abundant and and are the perfect temperature (98.6 degrees) to lay any eggs in, so any family of lice is likely to grow. By day any lice can bathe in the comfortable, warm and filthy surroundings of the trenches, while experiencing live combat. The trenches are perfect for any lice, cholera and trench foot because there is an abundance of human waste, decaying bodies and contaminated water. Also because the humans live so close together, you and you family of diseases are sure to get you very own human to feast on and lay your eggs in! All of you lice can lounge around or have fun spreading diseases like pyrrexhia and trench fever to the humans! We can also ensure that you and your family will be safe because all human attempts to get rid of you have failed. That's right folks humans have tried everything from candle sticks to vats of water and they still haven't been able to ruin a single louse's vacation! So come to the trenches of France and enjoy a relaxing, safe vacation today!