Caption: Spartacus, as he charges into battle
Spartacus Defeats Clodius Glaber and Lentulus Batiatos
June 12, 106 B.C. BREAKING NEWS Citizens of Rome, we are here to report our progress in the Gladiator war, or as some folks call it, the Third Servile War. Two of our well respected fighters, Clodius Gladius and Lentulus Batiatios have arrived home defeated after a battle in Picenum. Spartacus, the revolutionary leader, won against them with his army of slaves.
When asked about Spartacus, Glaber had this to say,"Oi, that Spartacus bloke is a feisty one. My army of 3,000 men just couldn't put up with him. He's a beast, he is. Especially with his army of blood thirsty slaves." With Cladius' account in mind, experts estimate that Spartacus' slave army has grown to over 30,000 men.
Another famous figure who has failed to beat the leader in battle is Lentulus Batiatus, who was coincidentally Spartacus' old gladiator trainer. Batiatus gave no comment but did leave several of our reporters dead. We were only able to pick up this line he said before the camera was smashed. "Spartacus, you dirty scum, you will pay!"
Many people are now questioning the senate's battlefield choices and have actually started to be scared of Spartacus. "Ohh, the horror, the horror," said one peasant women who was asked her opinion on the situation. Her husband, however, responded quite differently. " Why, I can't believe this Spartacus bloke was able to come this far without dying."
Well folks, we were able to contact many people and have managed to uncover the leader's past life. Now, let's go back to 135- 104 B.C. These were the times when the first and second Servile wars were happening. Many uprisings had begun to happen in Sicily, Itlay. Then, Spartacus was born in Thrace as a free man. When he grew up, he joined the Roman Army Auxilaries or RAA!!
It is then believed he commited a crime, so he was thrown into slavery. He was then auctioned off to Lentulus Batiatus, the general we all know now, who trained him and other men to become gladiators at a school in Capua. After a while, Spartacus was able to escape the school with 70 other men by grabbing knives from the school's kitchen and killing the guards. We were able to talk to a few men who hadn't been able to escape. We then asked them why Spartacus had left. "Well, he said he was going to change the Roman Empire, that he wanted to leave this oppressive life," said one. Another one said, "he wanted to be free, don't we all ?"
They told us that after leaving, Spartacus and his men were planning to take refuge at the base of Mt Vesuvius. Here he gathered an army of slaves and became their leader. He then lead his troops into Sicily, Italy where the Gladiator War started, and where he made his first stand as an army.
If Batiatus and Clodius have been defeated, who else will come home with their head hung low? And, the question every one wants to know, who will defeat, as the senate says, public criminal number one, Spartacus.
For more info on Spartacus go to:
Hello everybody, I'm Aristotle and this an advice column to help the more, um, unfortunate, in Rome.
I'm in need of serious advice! My husband has been disappearing down to our local tavern for several days, and the neighbors say that he has been flirting with several women. However, whenever I go down there, he gives me flowers and says I'm his only wife. But, I always see lipstick marks on his cheeks. What should I do?
Signed, Concerned Claudia
Well, Claudia, I think that what you've got is a confidence problem. You should walk right up to your husband and demand that he tell you the truth. By the looks of it, he's cheating on you, and if he is, I suggest you divorce him. You would receive your dowry back and return with your father. Hope the info was helpful.
My life is ruined! I'm the owner of an estate who has many plantations, and now, because of Spartacus, my slaves who work on the farm have rebelled. If have no one to work the fields, my business will crumble. What should I do?
Signed, Desperate Daedalus
Hello Daedalus. I don't think your situation is very uncommon lately, considering Spartacus' role. However, why don't you try something different. Pay the slaves, give them regular work hours. You might get a better result in crops if the slaves work willingly. Think about my idea.