Qualities To Look For In A Partner: Part 6: Mature And Responsible
Part 6, the final part in the series of Qualities to Look for in a Partner, is mature and responsible. This is another of those non-negotiable that should be included in our list of Must Haves & Deal Breakers before we take a relationship to the next level of commitment. But why is it important to have this quality before embarking on a relationship and why should you seek out someone with this attribute.
We recognize this problem in relationships where:
- There is significant age difference.
- One or both parties have not reached adult maturity in spite of their age.
If you ever say: I love my partner but I just wish she’d/he’d grow up, then you are probably involved with a child in an adult’s body.
How do mature people act?
- Able to take care of themselves:
- Able to support themselves financially;
- Able to keep their living space reasonably clean;
- Able to feed themselves.
- Be responsible:
- Paying their bills;
- Keeping promises;
- Showing up on time;
- Not letting people down.
- Be respectful.
Mature people are respectful of their partners feelings, boundaries, possessions; our environment; employees, employer or coworkers; other people’s feelings.
A fulfilling relationship requires two mature and responsible individuals.
People only mature if they have to, so you could be preventing your partner from growing up by doing too much for them. This is typical of the rescuer who has a need to nurture and take care of others. To the detriment of all involved.
What to look for in order to reveal immaturity and irresponsibility when dating:
- Always late for appointments;
- A history of job hopping or worse, not having a job;
- Always having to have things their way (selfish);
- How courteous they are to you and others;
- How sensitive they are to your feelings and those of other’s;
- If they don’t return items that they have borrowed;
- If they don’t care about the environment (littering).
Ask yourself: would I need to look after this person in any way (financially or emotionally)?
*Tracey is gorgeous, intelligent and funny but she is never on time, has no clue of how to manage her finances and treats everyone like trash.
Qualities to look for in a partner are character traits rather than the more superficial personality traits. Make sure that these exist before you look at personality traits: sense of humour, intelligence, active, affectionate…the list goes on and on and on.
A couple of months back I was fortunate to be hiking with a lovely lady. Hiking is great for chatting and we got onto the subject of relationships, as does happen, and she said something I’ll never forget: A man needs to be able to do 3 things: play cards; dance and make a fire. It is that simple for her and it can be IF -
- Quality 1: Integrity;
- Quality 2: Personal Growth;
- Quality 3: Emotional Openness;
- Quality 4: Positive Outlook;
- Quality 5: Self-Esteem;
- Quality 6: Mature & Responsible.
are all present first.