What It Truly feels to feel like an Outsider
Usually in Tackk from what i see, there are many fact based and not so personal tackks. Well, this will be one of those personal blog tackks and if you can relate, that is okay. But I don't know if you will relate at all to be honest. This will be from point of view. And I'm not posting this so people can feel bad for me, I'm trying to show others that there are not alone.
Before anything, i would like to start out with my childhood which lead to what i feel now, the outsider. You can skip the paragraph below and go to the other one if you like.
Ever since I was young (I'm a teen but still) around kindergarten, I thought i was the best in the world. I had all my friends, I had all the things I wanted. Sounds Happy and perfect right? But no, it is not that happy. Besides my parents, I had speech therapy, and I was bullied, and by 5th grade everything was going down hill for me. I got bad grades, the bullying got worse, and the worst of all, I felt alone. And I know there's other people who are suffering much more than me, but are still standing. And I adore those people, because they somehow are still alive and walking on Earth. For me, I'm not that strong, and I know it. I smile during the day, and cry during the night.
I'm not saying that I got it bad, because I know there are more people who are more stronger and go through even more. But I'm the outsider all the time. at school, public, with my friends and family, i'm always the one who's the shadow that always lingers throughout the day and mostly invisible. I'm always excluded in everything, and i with all the things being thrown at me, I feel like they look at me and all they see is trouble and a mess that should be cleaned up. for the past few years, I've been a mess, and i have valid reasons which will not be told, but I'm a better person. But all they see is a mess. And the way I feel the air get dense and suffocating once i walk in a room of people in the room is frightening for me. I know, see and feel what it's like to be an outsider, and not to belong. In a way it sucks, but there's the bright side.
The bright side is, there is a reason why you are alone. That reason is that you are different, and that you are so unique in your ways that not others can handle how much you are amazing. Think about it, if you were just one of them, do you think they will talk about how different you are? No, because they acknowledge your uniqueness between you and them. Yes, they sometimes show their acknowledge in the worst ways possible. But that's just who they are. They just can't handle your uniqueness. EMBRACE IT!
I've learned that embracing your uniqueness and focusing on your happiness more than what is breaking you down will make you more happier. This is the best way to live through being the outsider. Then always dream of the day of your uniqueness and being the outsider will benefit you, and maybe you don't even know that it's already benefiting you already. Just EMBRACE IT! Because they're only talking about you because you aren't like them boring selves.
I Hope this help you guys^^ I hope you guys can smile more now and know that you are not alone. And I'm so sorry if there are any mistakes in this tackk, this is my first tackk. And i apologize. Stay Happy~