For staying in to binge watch my Netflix series instead of hanging out with you.

For trying Taco Bell's new waffle taco.

Damn straight it won't.

For crying a little inside when Taylor Swift wins anything.

For secretly hating texting when a perfectly good phone call would do the trick.

For telling myself Diet Coke is perfectly healthy for me.

For loving my dog more than my boyfriend.

Dinner for two.

For using ever-efficient post-its instead of your daily task app.

My Post-its kick your apps ass

For un-friending you because of your annoying rants on Facebook.

For staying up way too late to watch Jimmy Fallon's 'thank you notes'.

Thank you for making me laugh at late night TV again Jimmy.

For calling you out for your "no make-up" selfie. Stop lying.

For correcting your grammar.

For knowing how much better USA is than Canada (even if we can't win in hockey).

For wishing I could ride on an actual wrecking ball.