rant blog.

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Anxiety is an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints and rumination.[2] It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over something unlikely to happen, such as the feeling of imminent death.[3] Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is felt about something realistically intimidating or dangerous and is an appropriate response to a perceived threat;[4] anxiety is a feeling of fear, worry, and uneasiness, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing.[5] It is often accompanied by restlessness, fatigue, problems in concentration, and muscular tension. Anxiety is not considered to be a normal reaction to a perceived stressor although many feel it occasionally.

Well you probably wondering or don't care why i paste the meaning of anxiety at the top of this paragraph. i don't really have that disorder but i feel like i have. lots and lots of things are bothering me right now. to others it's nothing but for me it's a big deal. let me start when i was in high school, i get bullied a lot. imagine first thing in the morning when you go to school you're scared into certain hooligans in your class. I experienced high amount of fear each day. it almost got me into the point that i don't wanna go to school anymore because of that. i get into a lot of fight even tho i'm a freshman. having good TRUE FRIENDS out there is very hard to find. some of my "friends" turned out to be fake, the most worst year of my life is when i was a sophomore in high school. i get bullied, robbed by my own classmates, that's the moment when i snapped and go brawl with this asshole. unfortunately i got beat up so bad it tore my lips and got black-eye . every lunch break of that year i go to different classroom just to escape the bullies. it was depressing. so depressing, junior and senior years are quite okay to me. some of them turned out to be good friends to me.

  • Love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection ("I love my mother") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment.[1] It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—

Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room. second thing that's bothering me is my lovelife. i'm not handsome, i'm just an average guy. i'm no Mr.popular, for me love has a big impact in someones life. when your tired or feeling down someone is gonna cuddle you and cheer you up. aside from love from family/relatives/friends. a partner. a companion in life. a girlfriend.. i admit that I'm not perfect, i have some vices in early 2010 an 2011 but as the time goes by i understand how to treat a girl RIGHT. understand her in every way you can. when she's mad cuddle her. no PRIDE. make her FEEEEEEEEEEEEELL that she's special. loyalty. it's easy to treat a girl right.

now a days MOST (not all) girls are looking for the looks. handsome as they say. don't get me wrong girls not all of you.

now i have a girlfriend we've been together for almost 2mos. i really love her. but i don't understand the way she's acting in the past few days. i know it's wrong to have a doubt. but honestly i don't feel the same way anymore. hm.. lets put this as an example (BOY AND GIRL. BOY LOVES THE GIRL SO MUCH. GIVING her lots of attention care love etc etc. but the girl doesn't text, do sweet things to boy.) i feel that her love for me is fading. sorry i'm having a hard time to express my thoughts on her right now/ :c



  • 1.a man or boy in relation to other sons and daughters of his parents.synonyms:sibling;

hm. i don't know if my parents know that i saw and completely read and understand in my birth certificate stated that "NO. OF CHILDREN BORN ALIVE BUT NOW DEAD: 1"

maybe i have a twin or a a brother. they never told me things about this. and it stated in my birth cerf. "BIRTH ORDER: third:

sigh. sorry for wasting your time on this shit blog/rant of mine. it's hard when your alone.

far away from your true friends. tears dripping from my eyes automatic. sometimes i think "am i crazy?" i talk a lot inside my head. thinking things. happy thoughts just to escape this fucking reality that i am a mess. there are times in the past that i think about suicide. lucky for me i'm afraid of death and sharp objects. been into car crash for 2 times. still alive. there is only one thing i want in life. that is just to feel loved. to feel special. thank you to those people who have been nice to me. you are the greatest gift in my life. there so many things i wanna say. i want to scream so loud.


John Rhey. :')


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