Fun with Words

  • When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
  • The batteries were given out free of charge.
  • A dentist and a manicurist married.They fought tooth and nail.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.
  • Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
  • A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
  • Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A-flat miner.
  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • You are stuck with your debt, if you can't budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
  • He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  • A calendar's days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; then it hit me.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  • The biggest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/crdot/5510506796/