Come have the time of your life! France is the place for lice!
Do you want a big family? Then come live in the wonderful trenches of France where you lay five eggs daily! Many of our precious baby lice are born within two or three of being put on a man's body!
There is no need to worry about pesky humans trying to hurt you because their delousing machines do not work against us!
For sport, we have contests to see who can give the most soldiers frenzied soldiers and pyrexia.
Lice have a buffet of blood to feed on from the numerous soldiers. As a matter of fact, they feed 12 times per day!
Come to the trenches of France and thrive with us! There's room for everyone since more and more tranches are being dug daily!