A War rages on; And you can benefit!

Plague Daily Issue #371

The first World War is erupting, but YOU can get an infinite supply of food NOW! If you're a rat, disease, or louse, that is. But don't worry, you fellow lice! We've got tips for you first! In today's edition of Plague Daily, we've got tips for all! And don't worry, diseases, we've got something in store for you, too!

Tired of doing work for food? Trying to find prey? No longer! With this war, the humans are busy obliterating each-other! They won't have time to pay attention to you when they're getting shot by other humans, in a trench! Easy prey, if we say so ourselves. They'll be too distracted to try to get rid of you if they're either dead or going to die! And with the various new machine guns and methods of attack they've developed, they're more of a threat to themselves than they are to us!

And if they do find out, not to worry! The human might be dying already from other causes that aren't bullets! Diseases, you get the limelight here, you get to easily wreak havoc on the already weak and malnourished soldiers! Or, if they're healthy, you can take at least 15% of them out of the battle. And among other things they'll be crying out loud about, is trench foot, pictured above, which leaves the human in massive pain - easy pickings for you and your family to latch onto! Just hang on tight, they still might not keel over that easy, yet!

Now fully onto you, Diseases! And namely, trench flu. YOU get almost free reign to host your family in a human - sanitation is low! When you live in a trench - or, that is to say, they live in a trench, they'll be weak enough for you to infect. With their wastes everywhere, you get a paradise to spread throughout, multiply with your families, and live contently! An all expenses paid vacation to a dugout filled with malnourished soldiers? Or healthy soldiers, even. You may be asking where to sign up! But hold up! We've still got more!

And finally onto you, Rats! Lice, if you need a quick trip, you can consult a local rat, they'll see to it! And same with diseases to lice. But first, Rats, you get a full few day's worth of food for EVERY human that falls! That's right, every! And there are a lot to choose from, there are bodies all over. Bring your disease brothers, bring your lice compadres, you'll all have a field day here! And rats, you get all the insides of whatever humans you find, you can feed your family for months! Settle down, maybe, this war is going to go for a while!

You're probably all on the edge, and all looking to find out where this war is! None other than Europe, of course! Come to France specifically, with all the trenches you could desire!

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